Page 1 of 1

Please assess my writing task 1 and give some feedback. I will be profoundly grateful for you support.

Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2017 3:03 am
by altinbek11
The glance at the graph given illustrates the yearly income of three bakeries (namely Bernie’s Buns, Lovely Loaves, and Robbie’s Bakery) in London during the first decade of the 21st century.
Overall, Bernie’s Buns and Robbie’s Bakery both saw a considerable increase in income over the period given while Lovely Loaves’ earnings dipped that of the period.
In terms of Bernie’s Buns and Robbie’s Bakery, Bernie’s buns annual income was 20000 pound at the beginning of the period then which doubled in 2003 before a period of stability between 2003 and 2007. After this Bernie’s Buns almost triple its annual earnings at the end of the decade, which reached a peak of approximately 70,000 pounds in 2010. During the first half, the period annual income of Robbie’s Bakery remained unchanged at less than 60,000 pounds. The next 5 years show an upward trend and almost doubled its yearly income. It reached about 120,000 pounds in 2010.
The yearly income of Lovely Loaves, however, fluctuated over the period. In 2008, earnings of Lovely Loaves dramatically decreased by 50 percent compared with the initial year income about 80,000 pounds and maintain the same level in the final 2 years.

Re: Please assess my writing task 1 and give some feedback. I will be profoundly grateful for you support.

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 5:32 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

Overall, quite good. you have covered the main points and noted the key trends.

There are a lot of grammatical errors, which could hold the overall score down, so do some serious work on that. You used the past tense correctly sometimes, but not always! Vocabulary is quite good, though there are some inaccuracies.

All the best,
David