Q : Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practise traditional medicine claim that it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health.
Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
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ANS :
Traditional medicine is widely used in many countries. Doctors who practise this kind of medicine argue that it is more successful than modern medicine in improving quality of health. i disagree to this point of view due to two main drawbacks of traditional medicine, lack of scientific base and safety measures.
However, many believe that this kind of medical practise such as acupuncture helps many people in relieving pain and the possibility of being more safe because it depends mainly on natural products such as herbal remedies, it is undeniable that all these therapies are not not scientifically proved, thus there are countless number of possible hidden side effects which we don't know about them. In addition, traditional medicine is based on old beliefs and not regularly updated to cope with the current changes in the etiological factors of diseases.
On the other hand, modern medicine offers humanity with progressive achievements and updated researches focusing on finding cures for every illness and also improving the quality of health and managing any possible harmful effects, another positive aspect of modern medicine is that before applying any new drug, it is a must that this drug has to be tested first on lab animals to ensure its safety for human use. so modern medicine is serving more safety and cooping with recent pathological changes.
In conclusion, Traditional medicine has hidden negative influence on health due to being devoid of scientific evidence and safety measures. in my opinion modern medicine applies more practical therapies in maintaining good quality of health.
Traditional Med vs Modern Medicine , Please Assess if you don't mind
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Elseady2014
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2016 6:12 pm
Re: Traditional Med vs Modern Medicine , Please Assess if you don't mind
I am not qualified enough to evaluate you, but the thing i noted is that your sentences is too long . The sentence in the first paragragh ,for example, is about 3 lines . I think too long sentences makes the meaning unclear .
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Traditional Med vs Modern Medicine , Please Assess if you don't mind
Hello!
I agree with Ibra about long sentences!
In the first main paragraph, it is incorrect to say that herbal remedies are not scientifically proven. In fact, many modern medicines are derived from herbal remedies. Having said that, I do generally agree with your point.
In the second main paragraph, I would relate back to traditional remedies and ask if science can prove/disprove them before they are used publicly.
Overall a good essay with clear arguments. They are not very well-expressed, but there is some good development. Vocabulary and grammar are good, despite some errors, but I would like to see a wider range of structures (conditionals!).
All the best,
David
I agree with Ibra about long sentences!
In the first main paragraph, it is incorrect to say that herbal remedies are not scientifically proven. In fact, many modern medicines are derived from herbal remedies. Having said that, I do generally agree with your point.
In the second main paragraph, I would relate back to traditional remedies and ask if science can prove/disprove them before they are used publicly.
Overall a good essay with clear arguments. They are not very well-expressed, but there is some good development. Vocabulary and grammar are good, despite some errors, but I would like to see a wider range of structures (conditionals!).
All the best,
David