pls evaluate my essay!! pollution and waste

[rairaichan0323]

More and more pollution and waste are created these days. What do these problems cause to people? What should we do to reduce the pollution?

In this age of change, the human society is progressing rapidly on various fronts. Yet at the same time, two serious issues have arisen, which are contamination problem and rubbish. These problems have drawn widespread attention. It is argued that these issues have a threat to human health and occupy a large section of lands for disposing wastes. To tackle these matters, using eco-friendly products and promoting recycling system will be analyzed for viability.

First of all, it is an indisputable fact that air pollution leads to many serious health problems. It is responsible for such aliments – like as asthma as well as allergic rhinitis. Perhaps the most effective solution would be for the government to provide financial incentives to the citizens who choose to use green products. For instance, the users can receive some financial support from the administration if they use battery powered vehicle. Hence, the pollution problems can be alleviated by utilizing these environmentally-friendly items. As this shows, the effectiveness of this solution can be seen.

However, to resolve the issue of garbage problem, it is suggested that separating rubbish for recycling. To take Japan as an example, the dwellers have to separate trash according its categories and throw them at certain dates. Thus, it can motivate individuals to reduce wastes and properly reuse the materials. It is obvious from this that the distinction of refuse for recycling can be a very effective way to diminish the amount of wastes. It means that we can use the land for another purpose rather than employing it for rubbish.

By way of conclusion, I believe that this is clearly a problem of such complexity that no solution is likely in the short term. However, I believe that the measure outlined above would constitute a good first step.

[Flick]

More and more pollution and waste are created these days. What do these problems cause to people? What should we do to reduce the pollution?

In this age of change, human society is progressing rapidly on various fronts. Yet, at the same time, two serious issues have arisen: contamination and rubbish. These problems have drawn widespread attention. It is argued that these issues are a threat to human health and occupy a large section of land. To tackle these matters, using eco-friendly products and promoting recycling system will be analyzed for viability.(<-- well put!)

First of all, it is an indisputable fact that air pollution leads to many serious health problems. It is responsible for such aliments as asthma as well as allergic rhinitis. Perhaps the most effective solution would be for the government to provide financial incentives to the citizens who choose to use green products. (<-- I really like this idea.) For instance, consumers can receive some financial support from the administration if they use battery powered vehicle. Hence, the pollution problems can be alleviated by utilizing these environmentally-friendly items. As this shows, the effectiveness of this solution can be seen. (<-- this sentence doesn't make sense. It is another way of saying the same thing you said in the previous sentence.)

However, to resolve the garbage problem, it is suggested that we should separate rubbish for recycling. To take Japan as an example, everyone has to separate trash according to various categories and throw them out on certain dates. Thus, it can motivate individuals to reduce wastes and properly reuse the materials. It is obvious from this that the distinction of refuse for recycling can be a very effective way to diminish the amount of waste. It means that we can use the land for another purpose rather than filling it up with rubbish.

In conclusion, I believe that this is clearly a problem of such complexity that no solution is likely in the short term. However, I believe that the measures outlined above would constitute a good first step.

Another good essay. Your ideas are clear and I like the way you express your opinion. I lived in Japan and remember having to sort my rubbish all the time! Great job!

[rairaichan0323]

thank you Flick!!