Writing Task 2- Please comment and suggest areas of improvement

[feejay87]

Today more people are travelling than ever before.
Why is this case?
What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

With the advent of urbanisation, travelling has become a norm these days. Many people are seen to be travelling nowadays as compared to the previous years. There are a quite couple of reasons due to which this trend is increasing and evolving. I would like to discuss some of the prominent reasons and the advantages which travelling brings into our lives.

One of the most conspicuous reasons of this emerging fashion is the exploration of business opportunities in the undiscovered regions. There is a considerable potential of trade and industrial growth in the areas which are not under the limelight, hence people who are well travelled in these unexplored places can reap maximum commercial benefits from these areas. Secondly, there has been observed a rigorous competition among airlines that has resulted in the reduction of airfares by a noticeable amount. Air travel has become much cheaper as compared to the past, thus allowing people to quench their thirst of international travelling and exploring. This has also given a boost to the travel and tourism industry and many countries are giving prime priority to the preservation and upkeep of their famous places which are tourist attractions.

Undoubtedly, travelling brings along heaps of benefits to the traveller. The person who has travelled extensively is well informed about the culture and traditions of the visited places and can blend into the cross-cultural communities very easily. The knowledge and experience he gains as a result of travelling can provide him with the wide variety of ideas which he can materialise productively and create his own opportunities. Forbes magazine issued the list of top ten successful entrepreneurs and technocrats of the world, out of which, mostly were well travelled and got the ideas of their innovations and inventions through travelling. Some of the noticeable names include Steve Jobs, CEO and Founder of Apple Computers; Bill Gates, Chairman and Founder of Microsoft Corporation; Warren Buffet, Managing Director of Berkshire Hathaway etc.

I would like to sum up with this beautiful phrase that, "Life is like a book and the person who did not travel, remained on the same page". Undeniably, the benefits of travelling are limitless. Youngsters should be promoted and encouraged to travel and learn from their experiences so that they can make a prospering future out of it.

[Flick]

Today more people are travelling than ever before.
Why is this case?
What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

With the advent of urbanisation, travelling has become the norm these days. Many people are seen to be travelling nowadays as compared to previous years.(<--This is saying exactly the same thing as the previous sentence.) There are a quite couple of reasons due to which this trend is increasing and evolving.(<--Reword to: "There are several reasons for this trend.") This essay will discuss some of the prominent reasons and the advantages which travelling brings into our lives.

One of the most conspicuous reasons of this emerging fashion is the exploration of business opportunities in undiscovered regions. There is considerable potential for trade and industrial growth in less well-developed areas, hence people who are familiar with these unexplored places can reap maximum commercial benefits. Secondly, rigorous competition among airlines has resulted in the reduction of airfares by a noticeable amount. Air travel has become much cheaper as compared to the past, thus allowing people to travel to more places. This has also given a boost to the travel and tourism industry, and many countries are giving prime priority to the preservation and upkeep of their famous places which are tourist attractions.

Undoubtedly, travelling brings along heaps of benefits to the traveller. The person who has travelled extensively is well informed about the culture and traditions of the visited places, and can blend into the cross-cultural communities very easily. The knowledge and experience he gains as a result of travelling can provide him with a wide variety of ideas which he can use productively to create his own opportunities. Forbes magazine issued a list of the top ten successful entrepreneurs and technocrats of the world, out of which, most were well-travelled and got the ideas for their innovations and inventions through travelling. Some of the noticeable names include Steve Jobs, CEO and Founder of Apple Computers; Bill Gates, Chairman and Founder of Microsoft Corporation; Warren Buffet, Managing Director of Berkshire Hathaway, etc.

In conclusion, "Life is like a book and the person who did not travel, remained on the same page." Undeniably, the benefits of travelling are limitless. Youngsters should be encouraged to travel and learn from their experiences so that they can make a prosperous future out of it.