My first task 2 Essay. Need your feedback

[vipin]

Below is my first task 2 essay. I have tried to keep the essay structure as suggested by you Ryan. Would love to hear from you and others what you think on this.

An increasing number of people changed their career and place of residence several times in their life. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Over the years, there has been a significant increase in the number of people who are no longer resorting to just one career path or place of residence, as had been the case in earlier times. While there may be some downsides to it, overall it may be considered as a positive development. This will be analyzed by taking into account the benefits for an individual and the society at large.

Many renowned celebrities did odd jobs before they found their true calling in life. For instance, Bollywood superstar Amitabh Bachhan was a radio jockey before he took to acting and became a world famous actor. This makes it clear that there is no reason for an individual to stick to just one career path to be successful. It is obvious from the example above that change of professions cannot be considered as a negative development for an individual.

Moreover, frequent exchange of people from different cultures & religion helps the society to be more tolerant and sensitive to each other’s personal beliefs and cultures. For example, today the Indian festival of Diwali is celebrated in even in the white house, the residence of the president of USA. As this shows, the impact of people from different cultures and beliefs, benefits the society, and should be considered a positive development.

In conclusion, it is for overall benefit of the individual and the society that people don’t restrict themselves to a place of residence or a career path. It has been proven by analyzing the facts above that this is overall a positive development and it is predicted that this trend is likely to continue and may rise in the near future.

[EnglishTeacher]

Below is my first task 2 essay. I have tried to keep the essay structure as suggested by you Ryan. Would love to hear from you and others what you think on this.

An increasing number of people are changing their career and place of residence several times in their lives. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Over the years, there has been a significant increase in the number of people who no longer confine themselves to just one career path or place of residence, as was the case in earlier times. While there may be some downsides to this trend, overall it may be considered as a positive development. This will be analyzed by taking into account the benefits for both the individual and society at large.

Many renowned celebrities did odd jobs before they found their true calling in life. For instance, Bollywood superstar Amitabh Bachhan was a radio jockey before he got into acting and became a world famous actor. This makes it clear that there is no reason for an individual to stick to just one career path in orderto be successful. This example demosntrates that changing professions cannot be considered a negative development for an individual.

Moreover, the increasingly frequent intermingling of people from different cultures & religion helps society to be more tolerant and sensitive to each person's’s individual beliefs and cultures. For example, today the Indian festival of Diwali is celebrated in even in the White House, the residence of the President of theUSA. As this shows, the impact of interacting with people from different cultures and beliefs benefitssociety, and should be considered a positive development.

In conclusion, it is to the overall benefit of individuals and society that people don’t restrict themselves to a single place of residence or a career path. It has been proven by analyzing the facts above that this is overall a positive development, and it is predicted that this trend is likely to continue and may grow in the near future.

[vipin]

thanks, really appreciate!!!