writing task 2:What are the advantages and disadvantages of using robots in our life?

[saycheer]

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B_NTz ... 10QzNHM0NZ

hi, I wrote a essay. Can anyone give me some comments about it? What's band I am in base on this essay? Thank you so much!

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Content:

Well, my first question is where do you live? Which hotels and restaurants are commonly using robots?
Robots may not 'rest' but they do require maintenance.
Do robots do things perfectly?
Human productivity and robot productivity CAN be compared.
I don't understand the first sentence of the second main paragraph.
Just because robots do some jobs, it does not mean that humans will do nothing. There may be other jobs or we could simply enjoy life.

Language

Grammatical errors are numerous, even in simple sentences (HumanS create robots ...)
The range of grammatical structures is limited.
The range of vocabulary is extremely limited, which affects meaning.
Lots of 'will', with very few modifiers and adverbs. Again, meaning is affected.

Overall, a weak essay, i'm afraid.
All the best,
David

[saycheer]

Thank you for your reply.
I am from Vietnam. I watched in TV about using robots in hotels and restaurants (especially in Japan) to gain customer's attention. I just think that people nowadays may depend on robots a lot.
Can my writing be band 5? or worse ?
Thank you again, i will try to improve my writing.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Just take a walk around some hotels and restaurants in Vietnam. How many have robots?

David