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Please assess my writing- IELTS ACADEMIC

Posted: Mon May 15, 2017 6:55 am
by Jomana
The line graph demonstrates the amount of travellers at London Station throughout the day, from 6:00 to 22:00. It is immediately apparent the variation in the number of passengers during the time reaching the max of 400.

It is of note that the rush hours are in the early morning, 8:00 and the evening, 18:00. Peaple start their journey to the station at 6:00 of only 100 passengers even though this number spectacularly shoots up to reach a peak of 400 at 8:00 where most of employees start to jostle to reach their jobs on time similarly to what happens at 18:00 where most of them leave to home, and gradually with time, it steeply sink to a trough of just about 200 and 100 at 10:00 and 20:00 respectively.

It is clearly obvious that the rate of people remain rather constant in the afternoon, between 12:00 and 14:00 of 300 passengers, notwithunderstanding the substantial fall to a low of 100 at 16:00. Likewise, people are approximately of the same quantity from 20:00 _ 22:00 of 100 to just under 200.Image

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Re: Please assess my writing- IELTS ACADEMIC

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 4:23 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

You have described the data, but the organisation is a bit of a mess. The summary only mentions the highest number of passengers, not the overall trend. The details are not described from left to right, in a logical order.

Grammar and vocabulary are poor with numerous errors, including many basic ones.

All the best,
David