kindly advice on task 2

[raghadmamd]

.All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do u feel are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

Recently, obesity among people the world over is increasing at an alarming pace. This essay will explain that sedentary lifestyle and bad eating habits are considered the main causes for this, and the most significant consequence for it is suffering from serious health problems.

One of the key precursors of fattiness of people is the lifestyle of the economically prosperous, in particular: physical inactivity, decrease exercise and highly convenient methods of transport, which in turn discourage people from walking. All these factors lead to build up unwanted fat. Second reason of overweight is the eating pattern, as this has changed dramatically over the last few decades. The excessive consumption of the fast food and the convenience food act as catalysts for obesity. In other words, the more junk food the person consume, the higher chance to be overweight. To illustrate, a study published on medscape.com reveals that obesity is positively correlated with the amount of the fast food eaten.

Focusing on the effects, overweight can result in an enormous variety of health illnesses such as Diabetes mellitus, heart diseases and high blood pressure. All these health problems are negatively impacting the patient life. Risk factors for these conditions are linked with the increase girth of the affected person. As an evidence for that, bariatrics surgeries, which lead to a decrease in body weight, have been proven as treatment for obesity-induced high blood sugar which is resistant to medical treatment.

To conclude, overweight rates are raising all over the globe mainly due to decrease level of activity in our daily routine and consuming unhealthy diet. The major sequel is critical heath illnesses.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, this is a very good essay. Points are clear and developed to some extent.

Vocabulary and grammar are used well - excessive consumption, the more ... the higher, positively correlated, can result in, are linked with.

I'd prefer a more personal conclusion, though this type of essay does not require one, so no deductions.

There are a few grammatical errors, but these do not affect meaning or comprehension.

Well done!
David