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Kindly evaluate Task 1

Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2017 3:42 pm
by zeeshi16
The pie chart explores the various factors responsible for the degradation of agricultural land throughout the world while the table explains how these affected North America, Europe, and Oceania, in terms of percent of land degraded. It is evident that Europe is the most affected among them.

Looking at the pie chart, it is clear that over-grazing is the major cause of spoiling agricultural land, which is responsible for 35% of land deterioration. Deforestation and overcultivation are the other two factors attributing to 30% and 28% respectively.

The table applies the three factors in the preceding paragraph to three different regions. Europe accounts for the major part of the degraded land at 23% where the prime factor responsible is deforestation. It is followed by Oceania where, contrary to the others, over-grazing has been a major problem. Degraded land accounts for only 5% in North America, which seems to be the least affected area.

Re: Kindly evaluate Task 1

Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:06 pm
by ted_ielts
Here's my suggestion:
The pie chart explores the various factors responsible for the degradation of agricultural land throughout the world while the table explains how these affected North America, Europe, and Oceania, in terms of percent of land degraded. It is evident that Europe is the most affected among them.

Looking at the pie chart, it is clear that over-grazing is the major cause of a loss of productivity in agricultural land, accounting for 35% of land deterioration. Deforestation and over-cultivation are the next most significant factors, attributing 30% and 28% respectively.

The table applies the three factors in the preceding paragraph to three different regions. Europe has experienced the most land degradation, at 23%, with the great contributor responsible being deforestation. It is followed by Oceania where, contrary to the others, over-grazing has been a major problem. Only 5% of agricultural land in North America has experienced degradation, which makes it the least affected area.

Re: Kindly evaluate Task 1

Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 6:15 am
by zeeshi16
Thank you