pls kindly grade my essay- Supermarket Vs local shop

[rairaichan0323]

People prefer to go shopping in the supermarket rather than small shops and local markets. Why has this happened? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In the fast-paced of life, urban citizens like to buy daily items in big supermarket chains rather than shopping in small stores and local market. It is argued that chief among causes this, are convenience and hygienic environment. Yet there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall effect of shopping at the chains has been positive or negative. I personally believe that the drawbacks of this tendency far outweigh its benefits. This argument will be analyzed how buying products in the supermarkets can lead to lose local identity and the price will be controlled by chains

First of all, it is an undeniable fact that the huge supermarket chains are seriously eroding the features of the local district. For instance, in Hong Kong, a lot of small unique retail stores were closed down due to big multiple shops can afford to pay high rent. Therefore, all the shops will become homogenous and lose the local characteristics. Admittedly, although I certainly agreed that this kind of markets is convenient, it has severely violated the regional identity.

Secondly and even more importantly, the supermarkets will monopolize the market and control the price due to less and weak competitors. To illustrate, they can set up exorbitant price of their products because customers only can buy it from them. Thus it creates unbalance market and also deprives consumers’ right to search for more affordable alternatives. It is obvious from this that this development has indeed been bad.

Following this look at how losing the local identity and dominate price by the supermarket, it is proven that shopping in the large markets is unfavorable development. Also, I believe that it seems highly advisable for residents to consume in local markets.

[Flick]

People prefer to go shopping in the supermarket rather than small shops and local markets. Why has this happened? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In the fast-pace of modern life, urban citizens like to buy daily items in big supermarket chains rather than shopping in small stores and local markets. It is argued that chief among the causes are convenience and a hygienic environment. Yet there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall effect of shopping at the larger chains has been positive or negative. I personally believe that the drawbacks of this tendency far outweigh its benefits. This argument will be analyzed by looking at how buying products in supermarkets can lead to a loss of local identity and how price can come to be controlled by the chains.

First of all, it is an undeniable fact that the huge supermarket chains are seriously eroding the identities of local districts. For instance, in Hong Kong, a lot of small, unique retail stores were closed down due to big chain stores that can afford to pay high rent. Therefore, all the shops in the area are becoming homogenous and losing their local characteristics. Admittedly, although I certainly agree that this kind of market is convenient, it has severely violated the regional identity. (<-- this is a great sentence. You make it personal and express the conflict you face when thinking about this topic.)

Secondly, and even more importantly, the supermarkets will monopolize the market and control the price due to less and weaker competitors. To illustrate, they can set up exorbitant price for their products because customers can only buy it from them. Thus it creates an unbalanced market and also deprives consumers of the right to search for more affordable alternatives. It is obvious from this that this development has indeed been bad.

Considering this loss of identity and market domination by the supermarket, it is clear that shopping in the large markets is an unfavorable development. Also, I believe that it is a good idea for residents to consume products bought in local markets as a way of supporting the local economy.

Hi rairaichan0323,

I like your essay. Your reasons are clear and easy to understand. You provide a good example and include your own opinion. I would grade this around band 6. Well done!

Flick