Task 1 evaluation, please

[yass]

The chart gives information about the number of males and females employed among the different age groups in a European country in 2013. Overall, it can be seen that the main trend in both gender is upward in a slight manner at first and after the middle age group this trend starts to drop rapidly. In addition, in all age groups except teenagers, males have been employed more than females.
According to the graph, near 300 thousand males who were 15-19 years of old have employed and just a little bit more than this figure has recorded for females in the same age group. The number of employment for males has moved in tandem with age until reaching to a peak of about 550 thousand employees for those 40-44 years of age. Afterwards, the circumstance of job employment for old age groups has decreased gradually so that about 480 thousand males employed in 50-54 years of age. Then, this downward progression accelerates and reaches to lower than 10000 for those who 75 and older.
The number of females employment among different age groups have followed the same trend as males except this that the number of females who have employed, have been equal for those 25-34 years of age. The maximum employment has been near 400 thousand for those who were aged 40-44. In the following age groups, this figure has significantly fallen until reaches to a lowest number for those 75 and older.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This is a good report. You have noted the key trends and points and described the graph with good detail.

The range of language is good, though there are quite a lot of grammatical errors. Organisation is clear and you have used a good range of connectives correctly.

All the best,
David