Kindly evaluate my Task 1 and 2..Thanks!

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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kaijean
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jul 04, 2017 2:07 pm

Kindly evaluate my Task 1 and 2..Thanks!

Post by kaijean »

TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The bar graph below shows the number of civilians holding various federal government jobs.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Proportion of civilians holding federal government jobs

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The given bar graph shows data regarding the proportion of civilian workers holding various federal government jobs. Overall, it can be seen that out of the six different federal government jobs, most of the civilian workers opt to work with the Department of the Army.

As per the acquired data, almost 350, 000 civilian workers are working in the Department of the Army and this is consequently followed by the Department of the Navy, with a little over 300, 000 civilian workers. Moreover, many civilian workers can also be found in the Department of the Air Force with a total of a little over 200, 000.
On the other hand, this is in contrast with the number of civilian workers working for the Justice Department and State Department with only 100, 000 and 50, 000, respectively. More so, there are lesser civilian workers working in the Congress with almost half of those working for the State Department. Simply put, there is a noticeable difference between the number of civilian workers working in the Department of the Army and those in Congress.

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TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic:
Some people think that important choices be made by the parents. Others believe young adults should be given the freedom to decide for themselves.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

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It is in the innate nature of humans to have intellect and with intellect comes freedom. This means that a person is able to decide for his or herself and has sole responsibility for the choices made.

However, there is no doubt that parents play a major role in shaping the decisions made by their children, especially young adults who are closer to experiencing the corporate life. For example, choosing college courses. Parents ask their children what they wish to become when they are older and they answer which first comes to their mind or whatever profession they currently find interesting at the age that they were asked. But as the years to adulthood nears and the time to choose awaits, parents almost always present their young adults with college courses that are currently trending or attest that it will bring them wealth.

Back in 2007, majority of the college entrants are vying to become nurses. This is due to the fact that at that time, thousands of nurses are needed globally and one more fact is that nurses are paid hefty salaries abroad. Thus, there was a rise in the number of nursing students and more so, a large number of nursing graduates applying to different hospitals in the country. The goal is to work abroad, however, experience is needed first and foremost. Therefore, as the population of nursing graduates is greater than the current need at that time, various requirements and processes took place which brought more burden to the said job seekers. Giving way to an increase in the number of unemployed.

There was a lot of questioning and doubt whether parents at that time made the right choice to lead their young adults to take up nursing. Another thing is that, many of them opted for a career shift, which was accompanied by blaming their parents for making it difficult for them to find a job related to their course, which does not require them to pay to start a job.

The bottom line is, everyone is made to have intellect and freewill. Choosing college courses is just an example, however, these young adults will also one day be parents. The question is, until when will parents stop making decisions for their children? Parents should teach their children, especially young adults, to make their own decisions because this will be a stepping stone in shaping their future and will help them learn to become responsible adults. This is also a way to prevent the blame game once a decision becomes unfavorable.
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Flick
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Re: Kindly evaluate my Task 1 and 2..Thanks!

Post by Flick »

kaijean wrote: Fri Jul 07, 2017 10:47 am TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic:
Some people think that important choices be made by the parents. Others believe young adults should be given the freedom to decide for themselves.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

----------

It is in the innate nature of humans to have intellect, and with intellect comes freedom. This means that a person is able to decide for him or herself and has sole responsibility for the choices made.

However, there is no doubt that parents play a major role in shaping the decisions made by their children, especially young adults who are closer to experiencing adult life. For example, choosing college courses. Parents ask their children what they wish to become when they are older and they answer with the first thing that comes to their mind or whatever profession they currently find interesting at the age that they were asked. But as adulthood nears and the time to choose looms, parents almost always present their young adults with college courses that are currently trending or attest that it will bring them wealth.

Back in 2007, the majority of college entrants (<--Where?) were vying to become nurses. This is due to the fact that at that time, thousands of nurses were needed globally and nurses are paid hefty salaries abroad. Thus, there was a rise in the number of nursing students and consequently, a large number of nursing graduates applying to different hospitals in the country.(<--Which country?) Even though the goal is to work abroad, experience was needed first and foremost. Therefore, as the population of nursing graduates was greater than the current need at that time, various requirements and processes took place which caused greater burden to those job seekers, leading to an increase in the number of unemployed.

There was a lot of questioning and doubt whether parents at that time made the right choice to encourage their young adults to take up nursing. Another consequence is that many of them opted for a career shift, which was accompanied by blaming their parents for making it difficult for them to find a job related to their course, which does not require them to pay to start a job.(<--I don't understand. The graduates had to pay an employer to work? This doesn't make sense.)

The bottom line is, everyone is made to have intellect and freewill. Choosing college courses is just an example, however, these young adults will also one day be parents. The question is, when will parents stop making decisions for their children? Parents should teach their children, especially young adults, to make their own decisions because this will be a stepping stone in shaping their future and will help them learn to become responsible adults. This is also a way to prevent the blame game once a decision becomes unfavorable.
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