Task 1 example: please evaluate my letter

[temandrin]

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job.

Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment.
In your letter
- describe the problem with the equipment
- explain how this problem is affecting your work
- say what you want the shop or company to do

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to inform you that last two days, I'm facing an issue with my laptop. I'm running out of space, thus I can't save anymore documents of my everyday work. What's more risky, is that I can work for only two more days and if the action to solve this won't be taken immediately, I can possibly loose all my work and my job also.
I can cope with at maximum two extra days as I possess an usb, thus I hope tgus might buy some time. I request from you to send me a new bigger size hard drive through the post. All the parameters of the hard drive including serial number, brand and size required are within the envelope in a specific letter. You can send me the bill as I will redirect to my company as a working expense.
Unfourtenately I'm unable to be present phisycally at your shop. For any additional information that you might need please do not hesitate to call me or write me.As you can understand is an urgent problem to solve. I would be pleased if you would prioritize.
Best Regards
Andrin Tema

[Flick]

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job.

Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment.
In your letter
- describe the problem with the equipment
- explain how this problem is affecting your work
- say what you want the shop or company to do

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to inform you that I have been having an issue with my laptop for the last two days. I'm running out of space, thus I can't save anymore documents. This means I can only work for two more days and if action to solve this isn't taken immediately, I can possibly lose all my work as well as my job.

I can cope with, at maximum, two extra days as I possess a usb. I ask that you send me a new, larger hard drive through the post. All the parameters of the hard drive including serial number, brand and size required are listed below. You can send me the bill as I will redirect to my company as a working expense.

Unfortunately, I can not come to your shop. For any additional information that you might need please do not hesitate to call me. As you can understand, this is an urgent problem to solve. I would be pleased if you would prioritize my request.

Best Regards
Andrin Tema