This is an IELTS academic writing task-2. Please give your valuable feedback.

[shilaghimire]

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your
own knowledge or experience.

Life expectancy has been improved generally due to various factors including health facilities and quality food to name but a few. Owing to this fact many people think that retirement age from employment should be extended. However, I disagree with this opinion because retiring age is influenced by the nature of a work and elderly people have an important role to play in society other than engaging in a job.

Nature of jobs varies accordingly, some are physically demanding and some require high degree of intelligence. Retirement age largely depend upon what type of work one is involved in, as longevity does not make person to age slower. Work, which requires physical strength, cannot be done after certain age. For instance, cleaning and lifting heavy equipment is unlikely to be done by people of age over 60. Similarly, football players retire as a player usually after 35 because after this age stamina required for this sport starts decreasing.

Moreover, old people are necessary in societies rather than in workplaces. They are the one who pass useful life experiences to the society as well as play a crucial part in preserving our tradition and culture. For example, children learn a lot about their culture and tradition from their grandparents. In addition, those who have gained life long experiences can teach ethics and good morals to young minds. Retired people have a crucial duty to fulfill in a society than in a company.

In conclusion, life expectancy should not be a base in determining retirement age rather it should be determined on the basis of job. Furthermore, elderly people are boon to our upcoming generation hence; their knowledge should be utilized for social development.

[Flick]

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your
own knowledge or experience.

Life expectancy has been improved generally due to various factors including health facilities and quality food to name but a few. Owing to this fact, many people think that retirement age from employment should be extended. However, I disagree with this opinion because retiring age is influenced by the nature of work and elderly people have an important role to play in society other than engaging in a job.

The nature of jobs varies accordingly; some are physically demanding and some require a high degree of intelligence. Retirement age largely depends upon what type of work one is involved in, as longevity does not make a person age slower. Work which requires physical strength cannot be done after a certain age. For instance, cleaning and lifting heavy equipment is unlikely to be done by people over 60. Similarly, football players retire usually after 35 because after this age, the stamina required for this sport starts decreasing.

Moreover, old people are necessary in societies rather than in workplaces. They are the ones who pass useful life experiences on to the society as well as play a crucial role in preserving our traditions and culture. For example, children learn a lot about their culture and traditions from their grandparents. In addition, those who have gained life-long experiences can teach ethics and good morals to young minds. Retired people have a crucial duty to fulfill in a society rather than in a company.

In conclusion, life expectancy should not be a base for determining retirement age. Rather, it should be determined on the basis of job type. Furthermore, elderly people are a boon to our upcoming generation, hence their knowledge should be utilized for social development.