What do you think about my essay?
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:27 am
I would be thankful if you could give me some feedback about this essay:
Some people say that not all criminals should be sent to prison. Instead they should do unpaid work to help people in the community. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.
Humans have realized that a punishment system is inevitable if a community wants to survive. One of the ways to charge a person who breaks a law is detaining him. Although, it is believed that it will not be the best practice against minor lawbreaker. These sort of crimes could be compensated by unpaid work in the public sectors where all members of the society benefit.
Firstly, jail may encourage young criminals or low level lawbreakers to commit more serious crimes, due to contact with hardened criminals. According to a study which was conducted by the jurisdictional system of the US, there is a considerable probability that a bigger crime will be committed by a person who spends less than a month in a jail. Therefore, it is clear that prison should not always be considered as a solution. Thus, it can be replaced by other soft ways like an unpaid job to service elderly.
In addition, a criminal record may have a negative effect on a person’s life. For example, almost all employer ask for an official background check before recruit an employee. Hence, if someone committed a petty crime and be sentenced to the jail, it would make it hard for him to find a proper job. As it is obvious, unemployment persons may be gravitated towards to commit a crime for second and third time. So, it would not be a good idea to send any criminals to the jail.
In conclusion, giving service to people for free as a punishment is supported. Because, it seems more sustainable way to tackle crimes and reduce its rate.
What do think with regard to the response and what will be my estimated score?
Any response would be appreciated.
Some people say that not all criminals should be sent to prison. Instead they should do unpaid work to help people in the community. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.
Humans have realized that a punishment system is inevitable if a community wants to survive. One of the ways to charge a person who breaks a law is detaining him. Although, it is believed that it will not be the best practice against minor lawbreaker. These sort of crimes could be compensated by unpaid work in the public sectors where all members of the society benefit.
Firstly, jail may encourage young criminals or low level lawbreakers to commit more serious crimes, due to contact with hardened criminals. According to a study which was conducted by the jurisdictional system of the US, there is a considerable probability that a bigger crime will be committed by a person who spends less than a month in a jail. Therefore, it is clear that prison should not always be considered as a solution. Thus, it can be replaced by other soft ways like an unpaid job to service elderly.
In addition, a criminal record may have a negative effect on a person’s life. For example, almost all employer ask for an official background check before recruit an employee. Hence, if someone committed a petty crime and be sentenced to the jail, it would make it hard for him to find a proper job. As it is obvious, unemployment persons may be gravitated towards to commit a crime for second and third time. So, it would not be a good idea to send any criminals to the jail.
In conclusion, giving service to people for free as a punishment is supported. Because, it seems more sustainable way to tackle crimes and reduce its rate.
What do think with regard to the response and what will be my estimated score?
Any response would be appreciated.