Task2 - more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult. pls check it. thank you

[rairaichan0115]

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In contemporary society, tourists habitat have been changing from visiting the common tourist attractions to the seldom places. In this essay, we will discuss both merits and demerits for visitors who tour extremely difficult places.

It is an undeniable fact that touring those places tourists can enjoy the great and identical scenery which you may not be able to find in other countries. Furthermore, sightseers can be educated regarding conserving the natural environment. For instance, visiting the Antarctic is an excellent place. As you can gain knowledge about how the greenhouse effects are negatively affecting our planet and at the same time the tourists also can see the lifestyle of rare animals. This makes it clear that the tourists can acquire a different kind of knowledge and experiences while they are visiting there. It is obvious from this, the sightseers can have numerous benefits from touring these places.

However, the tourists may also receive some drawbacks during visiting there. They may face the extreme weather as well as cause health problem. To illustrate, a lot of professional people love to take the challenge to go to Mt. Everest. The weather in there is very unstable. Some people may get an injury or even lose their life due to the awful weather. As this shows, the sightseers may have to bear some difficult situations during visiting there.

In conclusion, there are some positive points and negative points to visit the difficult conditions places. But I believe that going to that places can gain more knowledge and they can use that information to educate our offspring. Also, it seems highly advisable for the government promoting those journey.

[Mark IELTS]

Hello!

Introduction - "tourists habitat". Habitat is where people live, not visit. "Merits and demerits" is a phrase that should be banned from IELTS!

First main paragraph - Identical scenery? Considering the rest of that sentence, that's a big vocab error!

Second main paragraph - You jump from professional mountaineers to sightseers.

Overall, you make some good (though basic) points. There are a lot of grammar and vocab errors which sometimes affect meaning. Organisation is quite good and relatively clear.

All the best,
Mark (a.k.a. David)

[rairaichan0115]

Thank you so much, David!

Could you please give me a mark for that essay? Is it possible to get a score of 6?

Cheers
Jenny