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Pls grade: Writing task 2 Technology and people interaction

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:17 am
by SaraZh
Technology innovation has brought efficiency and convenience to people’s lives in the respect of communication. Yet, few people have noticed about the impacts of these improvements on people’s physical and mental health, as well as the human society as a whole.

It is not questionable that technology development is a plus in business and social communication. The progress in information technology (IT) enables real-time contact between suppliers and customers; hence trading companies are able to expand their business world-widely without setting up local offices. Meanwhile, students who study aboard and businessmen who travel frequently across countries can still keep in touch with their families and friends through phone call, SMS, Facebook, Blog and Skype. Additionally, people are able to share their feelings and express their opinions online freely by posting status and adding comments. In such a way, people from different countries can understand each other better.

However, some side effects of the abuse of electronic devices and online communication tools have been detected. As the youth rely a lot upon online interaction and virtual-community building, the time they devote to physical exercise and real-life interaction significantly declines. This can harm their body health, more importantly, increase the risk of real-life social anxiety. On the other hand, culture diversity is diminishing because of the overwhelming dominant culture and ideology invasion; geographic barriers, which used to be the guardians of culture diversity, have been defeated by Internet.

Information technology has completely changed the way people interact with each other. Along with the convenience brought by technology development, there are inevitable negative impacts too. It may be difficult to evaluate which one is outstanding, but one thing for sure is that we can never go back to the age without cell phone and Internet.

Re: Pls grade: Writing task 2 Technology and people interact

Posted: Sat May 03, 2014 5:14 am
by Flick
SaraZh wrote:Technology innovation has brought efficiency and convenience to people’s lives in the respect of communication. Yet, few people have noticed about the impacts of these improvements on people’s physical and mental health, as well as the human society as a whole.

There is no question that the development of technology is a plus in business and social communication. The progress in Information Technology (IT) enables real-time contact between suppliers and customers(<-- be a bit more specific here. Why is IT so great? If I open my window, I can have real-time contact with my neighbour. But I can't have real-time contact with my friend on the other side of the world. IT enables real-time contact between businesses on opposite sides of the world.); this means trading companies are able to expand their business globally without having to set up local offices. Meanwhile, students who study abroard and businessmen who travel frequently across countries can still keep in touch with their families and friends through phone calls, SMS, Facebook, Blogs and Skype. Additionally, people are able to share their feelings and express their opinions online freely by posting statuses and adding comments. In such a way, people from different countries can understand each other better.

However, some side effects of the abuse of electronic devices and online communication tools have recently been detected. As the youth of today come to rely more and more upon online interaction and virtual-community building, the time they devote to physical exercise and real-life interaction is declining significantly. This is having a negative impact on their health, and, perhaps more importantly, increasing the prevalence of real-life social anxiety. On the other hand, cultural diversity is diminishing because of the overwhelming dominant culture and ideology invasion; geographic barriers, which used to be the guardians of culture diversity, have been defeated by the Internet. (<-- I really like the way you have written this.)

Information Technology has completely changed the way people interact with each other. Along with the convenience brought by technology development, there are inevitable negative impacts, too. It may be difficult to evaluate which one is having the greatest effect, but one thing for sure is that we can never go back to an age without cell phones and the Internet.
Hi SaraZh,

This was a really difficult topic to write about, but I think you did a great job. You discuss both the positive and negative sides in an easy to understand way, and I really liked your conclusion.
Great job!

Flick