IELTSNetwork.com

Hi, Ryan, I met a question about the IELTS writing when I got this one,'Children are spending more time at their computers today than playing with their friends. What are the negative consequences of this over-dependence on computers and how can they be avoided?'. According to your strategy I can not decide where I response to 'How can they avoided', In the last paragraph? Thanks for your reply if you might do.

Hi Ken,

I would use one supporting paragraph to address the negative consequences and another to suggest how these consequences can be avoided. Declaring this progression in the last two sentences of your introduction paragraph could help to add a bit of cohesion.

Good luck,
Ryan

This means the last two sentences of my introduction paragraph should be looked like: Over use of computers has triggered vary negative impacts on the teenagers both on the physical and mental aspects. What we can tackle this should be showed in the two ways respectively as followed.

Another problem happened afterwards...should I write all the two problems in the second paragraph and two solutions respectively in the third paragraph, or it is easier to put one problem and one solution in the second paragraph and do the same in the third paragraph? However the last option will lead to another question that how could we arrange the structure to ensure the cohesion of the essay.

Thanks a lot for your kind help, Ryan! I did not expect that you could answer my question by yourself! Thank you for your time.

Ken wrote:This means the last two sentences of my introduction paragraph should be looked like: Over use of computers has triggered vary negative impacts on the teenagers both on the physical and mental aspects. What we can tackle this should be showed in the two ways respectively as followed.

Another problem happened afterwards...should I write all the two problems in the second paragraph and two solutions respectively in the third paragraph, or it is easier to put one problem and one solution in the second paragraph and do the same in the third paragraph? However the last option will lead to another question that how could we arrange the structure to ensure the cohesion of the essay.

Thanks a lot for your kind help, Ryan! I did not expect that you could answer my question by yourself! Thank you for your time.

Please excuse the delayed reply, Ken.

Either approach would work so long as your writing progresses logically. Coupling a problem and its proposed solution could work nicely. This came up in a recent thread, and I wrote an example paragraph using this structure: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1314#p4162

Hope that helps,
Ryan

Thanks, Ryan, your example is very helpful! And some expressions in it are much worth of copying...Thanks a lot.