General Task 2 - Computers in education

[nithinramesh]

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. Agree or Disagree?

Advancement in technology has greatly influenced most of the sectors. One of the major sectors is education and nowadays most of the complex topics can be easily taught with the help of a computer. There is a general assumption that this may lead to a time when teachers are no longer required in the classrooms and all of the tasks can be achieved using computers. But this argument holds no value as at any point of time in the future, we cannot think of a replacing man with machine.

Firstly, the human interaction brings attention and respect. For example, pupils will be more cautious in the class when a teacher is around and on the contrary, they may divert their attention if the class is taken care by a computer. So it clearly states that it is difficult for these machines to individualized care for students and alert them if they loose their attention. So in this way, a class teacher cannot be replaced and it will be a tedious job to bring these qualities to a computer.

Secondly, Group interaction is one of the major qualities which students need to develop. With the help of a teacher, this can be easily achieved and they can also guide them if they are unable to interact socially. For instance, teachers can arrange games for students to play in groups and build skills required to be a good team player. So there are many situations where we still need the human interaction to make a perfect classroom.

To sum it up, we can aggressively use computers for students in many areas during the course of teaching, but we may never be able to completely depend on computers to build a regular classroom.

[nithinramesh]

Hi Friends,

Please review and assess the essay. I require 7 for writing.

Thanks,

[durai]

Advancement in technology has greatly influenced most of the sectors. One of the major sectors is education and nowadays most of the try not to repeat same phrase following, , not a grammar mistake but gives poor structure complex topics can be easily taught with the help of a computer. There is a general assumption that this may lead to a time when teachers are no longer required in the classrooms, and all of the tasks can be achieved using computers. But this argument holds no value 'as', unnecessary at any point of time in the future, we cannot think of a replacing man with machine. Give your opinion clearly to the reader otherwise your essay may lack clarity, use simple sentences to convey such important message, use language skills when you explain certain things sample: To my mind, the role of teachers cannot be replaced/superseded by computers anytime in the future.

Firstly, the human interaction brings attention and respect. here, you introducing topic with reason so you need to include some topic words. " Firstly, teachers interaction would bring attention and respect among students.For example, pupils will use "would" unless you are 100% sure, because there could some pupils who mock around even teachers are inside the classroom be more cautious in the class when a teacher is around, and, on the contrary, it may divert their attention if the class has been taken by a computer. So remove "it clearly states that", sounds awkward it is difficult for these why 'these', you didn't talk about computers but " a computer", so use "this") machines to care students individually, and alert them if they loose their attention. So in this way, a class teacher cannot be replaced, and it will use 'would', because there are many computers serving teachers job, so on the safer side get the habit of using hedges 'would' be a tedious job to bring these qualities to a computer.

Secondly, group interaction is one of the major qualities which students need to develop. With the help of a teacher, this can be easily achieved and they can also guide them if they are unable to interact socially. For instance, teachers would be able to arrange games for students to play in groups and build skills required to be a good team player. So there are many situations where we "avoid personal pronoun", only place you use is when you give your opinion, or when you give personal examples still need the human interaction to make a perfect classroom.

To sum up, computers could be used for students aggressively in many areas during the course of teaching, but completely depending on computers would not benefit for a regular classroom.


overall good essay.

TR is clear , however, poor structure of sentences made difficult understanding on some areas.

GR & A, some flawless sentences exist but some errors sustain through out

CC: good part of your essay, there is logical flow , some word choices stop the flow at certain times.

LR: you have used students 4 times, is ok, but if there are other words such as learners, school goers, would give better score for lexis.

looks like band 6 to 6.5 , with the above corrections it may go up to maximum of 7.5 ( I am not an assessor)

You are not far away in getting band 7.

Good luck

[nithinramesh]

Thanks a lot for an in-depth analysis. I will surely note down your suggestions and make sure I will apply in my next essay.

Thanks,
Nithin