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i accept correction and suggestions please

Posted: Sat May 03, 2014 6:56 am
by Ieltscrazy
Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Most of the people nowadays like to give parties to the people they know while celebrating occasions like birthdays and weddings. However, there are some of them who argue that these celebrations are not worth what they cost. In this essay, I will examine the both sides and present my own perspective on the matter.

One on hand, it is generally agreed that these celebrations assists in strengthening the bond with the ones we love and care for. For instance, in family celebrations such as birthday and wedding, We meet many relatives and friends whom we do not get chance to see often. This facilitates us moments to share our stories and happenings while enjoying food and drink. As a result, our relationship with our dear ones will be much more stronger. In addition to that, these fancy events will bring society members together. This will make the community life fun and vibrant. The constant celebrations in a neighborhood will help maintain peace between it's residents.

On the other hand, not everyone are in favor of throwing parties. There could be number of reason behind this. Perhaps the most significant one of these could be the 'cost'. Significant amount of wealth is spent to compensate the cost of these communal gatherings which happens frequently in our life. Some families even try to imitate their wealthy neighbors by spending a fortune and end up in a huge debt. Another important thing to consider is that these social and personal get-together's often leads to alcohol related violence and accidents. The reason behind this is that people drink a lot when the alcohol is free of charge. They are likely to fight with their friends and families under the influence of this toxic drink. Accidents can also happen when a drunk person drives back home from the party, increasing the chance of getting hurt or death.

In conclusion, A healthy relationship with colleagues, family members and community can be maintained through these parties. However, the cost and consequences related to it should not be overlooked. In my personal opinion, I am in favor of giving and attending these events at whatever cost.

Re: i accept correction and suggestions please

Posted: Sun May 04, 2014 3:42 am
by Ieltscrazy
Ieltscrazy wrote:Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Most of the people nowadays like to give parties to the people they know while celebrating occasions like birthdays and weddings. However, there are some of them who argue that these celebrations are not worth what they cost. In this essay, I will examine the both sides and present my own perspective on the matter.

One on hand, it is generally agreed that these celebrations assists in strengthening the bond with the ones we love and care for. For instance, in family celebrations such as birthday and wedding, We meet many relatives and friends whom we do not get chance to see often. This facilitates us moments to share our stories and happenings while enjoying food and drink. As a result, our relationship with our dear ones will be much more stronger. In addition to that, these fancy events will bring society members together. This will make the community life fun and vibrant. The constant celebrations in a neighborhood will help maintain peace between it's residents.

On the other hand, not everyone are in favor of throwing parties. There could be number of reason behind this. Perhaps the most significant one of these could be the 'cost'. Significant amount of wealth is spent to compensate the cost of these communal gatherings which happens frequently in our life. Some families even try to imitate their wealthy neighbors by spending a fortune and end up in a huge debt. Another important thing to consider is that these social and personal get-together's often leads to alcohol related violence and accidents. The reason behind this is that people drink a lot when the alcohol is free of charge. They are likely to fight with their friends and families under the influence of this toxic drink. Accidents can also happen when a drunk person drives back home from the party, increasing the chance of getting hurt or death.

In conclusion, A healthy relationship with colleagues, family members and community can be maintained through these parties. However, the cost and consequences related to it should not be overlooked. In my personal opinion, I am in favor of giving and attending these events at whatever cost.

Re: i accept correction and suggestions please

Posted: Sun May 04, 2014 5:49 am
by durai
Most of the people nowadays like to give parties to the people they know to celebrate occasions such as ( avoid using same word more than one time in the same sentence) birthdays and weddings. However, there are some of them who argue that these celebrations are simply wasting money. In this essay, I will examine the both sides and present my own perspective on the matter.

sample: Over the last decade, the celebrations of different events such as festivals, parties have significantly increased the wrold over. While some believe that these are simply wasting people's money, others, however, argue that such occasions would benefit people and society. This essay is an attempt to analyse both sides before arriving at a satisfactory outcome.

One on the hand, it is generally agreed that these celebrations assist in strengthening the bond with the loved ones. For instance, in family celebrations such as birthday and wedding, we are able to meet many relatives and friends whom we never get a chance to see them often. This facilitates moments to share our stories and happenings while enjoying food and drink. As a result, our relationship with our dear ones do you mean all your friends and relatives are 'dear ones' will be much more incomplete comparison) stronger. In addition, these fancy events would bring society members together and make the community life fun and vibrant. The constant celebrations in a neighborhood will help maintain peace between it's residents. ( how you say this? you need to explain with evidence and/or examples.

On the other hand, not everyone is in favor of throwing out the parties. There could be number of reasons behind this. Perhaps the most significant one of these could be the 'cost'. Significant amount of wealth (incorrect colloquial language) is spent to compensate the cost of these communal gatherings which happens frequently in our life. Some families even try to imitate their wealthy neighbors by spending a fortune and end up in a huge debt. Another important thing to consider is that these social and personal get-together's often leads to alcohol related violence and accidents. The reason behind this is that people drink a lot when the alcohol is free of charge. They are likely to fight with their friends and families under the influence of this toxic drink. Accidents can also happen when a drunk person drives back home from the party, increasing the chance of getting hurt or death. conclude with a short script: Thus, the drawbacks of spending a lot of money is clearly seen.

In this supporting paragraph, you need to explain spending a lot on celebrations is considered be wasting money. So you should describe why it is waste, because people could celebrate events just spend minimal amount instead of grand celebration. example, marriage could be conducted in minimum expenditure of say 100,000 dollars, why they spend 1 million or more, those money would be better spent on other social issues

sample: On the other hand, many opine that holding expensive events for celebrating is a sheer waste of money because this money could be better spent on other useful purposes. For example, in India, many wedding ceremonies would be held in a big concert hall and also provides 6 course dinner costing at least 10000 dollars. Instead this huge sum could be used for various purposes such as charity work or donate to orphanages where orphans are starving for a single meal a day. From this example, it is clear that conducting different parties would be an act of wasting money ruthlessly..

In conclusion, a healthy relationship with colleagues, family and community members can be maintained through these parties. However, the cost and consequences related to it should not be overlooked. In my personal opinion, I am in favor of giving and attending these events at any cost.