Page 1 of 1

please check my letter

Posted: Sun May 04, 2014 9:14 am
by rodtakular
Hello everyone, please help me improve my writing, here is an example:

TASK:
You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
  • *explain why you want to take time off work

  • *give details of the amount of time you need

  • *suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

LETTER:

Dear Mr. Jones

I am writing to let you know that I will be needing to take some days off work.

About a month ago I started to feel pain on my lower back. Initially the pain was momentary, but as the days went by the pain would not go away, even after taking medication. Last week I went do the doctor, who after running some tests, determined that it would be necessary to perform a minor surgery on my back to provide full relief from the pain I am feeling. Because of the surgery and the subsequent recovery period, I will be requiring to take a total of 5 days off work, 1 day for the surgery and 4 days to rest and recover.

I wanted to ask you if it would be possible for me to take next week off work to undergo this surgery and take the necessary rest to recover. While I am out of the office, my duties could be covered by Kevin Smith. I have already talked to him about this situation, and he told me that he would have no problem covering for me.

Sincerely yours,
James Watson

Re: please check my letter

Posted: Mon May 12, 2014 10:00 pm
by Flick
rodtakular wrote:Hello everyone, please help me improve my writing, here is an example:

TASK:
You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
  • *explain why you want to take time off work

  • *give details of the amount of time you need

  • *suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

LETTER:

Dear Mr. Jones

I am writing to let you know that I will be needing to take some days off work.

About a month ago I started to feel pain in my lower back. Initially the pain was fleeting, but as days went by the pain would not go away, even after taking medication. Last week, I went do the doctor who, after running some tests, determined that it would be necessary to perform a minor surgery on my back to provide full relief from the pain I am feeling. Because of the surgery and the subsequent recovery period, I need to take 5 days off work: 1 day for the surgery and 4 days to rest and recover.

I wanted to ask you if it would be possible for me to take next week off work to undergo this surgery and take the necessary time to recover. While I am out of the office, my duties could be covered by Kevin Smith. I have already talked to him about this situation, and he told me that he would have no problem covering for me.

Sincerely yours,
James Watson
Good job. You covered all the required points and used polite language, which is appropriate when communicating with a manager.

Re: please check my letter

Posted: Sun May 18, 2014 5:26 am
by saqibali
rodtakular wrote:Hello everyone, please help me improve my writing, here is an example:

TASK:
You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
  • *explain why you want to take time off work

  • *give details of the amount of time you need

  • *suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

LETTER:

Dear Mr. Jones

I am writing to let you know that I will be needing to take some days off work.Please allow me to explain the circumstances that lead to this request.

About a month ago I started to feel pain on my lower back. Initially the pain was momentary, but as the days went by the pain would not go away, even after taking medication. Last week I went do the doctor, who after running some tests, determined that it would be necessary to perform a minor surgery on my back to provide full relief from the pain I am feeling. Because of the surgery and the subsequent recovery period, I will be requiring to take a total of 5 days off work, 1 day for the surgery and 4 days to rest and recover.

I wanted to ask you if it would be possible for me to take next week off work to undergo this surgery and take the necessary rest to recover. While I am out of the office, my duties could be covered by Kevin Smith. I have already talked to him about this situation, and he told me that he would have no problem covering for me.

Sincerely yours,
James Watson

Re: please check my letter

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 11:38 am
by saqibali
Anyone who can
Spot the grammer mistakes?
Challenge my task achievement?
Challenge my Understanding?
Suggest better variety of words and phrases?
Suggest better cohesion?
Suggest better sentences and words?