please tell me improvement areas and the deserving grade

[neha]

Topic:
"Friends"

[saqibali]

I already have provided feedback on another post.

[lmoore]

Hi, Neha,
Here are some notes on your speech:
-You repeat the word “available” a lot at the beginning. Try to find some synonyms like, “free.”
-some similarities with – This should be some similarities “to.”
-I like them to visit in my homes. – Although you may own more than one home, you should just say “home,” in general.
-do shopping with them – “go” shopping
-it’s a fun to watch movies or gossiping with them so that’s on top of the world. – It’s fun to watch movies or GOSSIP with them. THAT MAKES ME FEEL on top of the world.
-They have forgot about their friends – They have FORGOTTEN about their friends.
-Friendships end…with the distances – Friendships end … when large distances separate friends.
-They should be contact with you. – They should be IN contact with you.
-a friend should not be like that to be as your mistakes or weaknesses. – I wasn’t sure of your meaning, but I am going to guess that you mean that a friend shouldn’t point out your mistakes or weaknesses.
- a friend should be like a person who company you enjoy the most – A friend should be a person WHOSE company you enjoy the most.
-moreon – I think I’ve noted this for you before, but this word is MOREOVER.
Best wishes as you continue to practice!!