Essay topic- some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however , believe that boys and girls benefits more from attending mixed schools.
Discuss both these views and give yours own opinion .
In today's world we can stand no where without eduction, as it is a pillar to mould ones career. There are different types of schools like single sex and co-education schools to impart knowledge. The selection of school mainly depends upon the decision of parents and their child's. In this essay , I am going to examine this question from both points of view.
On one side of the argument there are people who believe that there are many benefits to educate both the gender in a single sex institute. The principal reasons for thinking these, is that it allows to study in a fearless environment . Secondly, no competition between two genders in the activities like sports, quite,as well as cultural events. Finally, it allows to choose the subjects of science field such as biology to study without feeling shy while doing practical session.
On the other hand, there are people who thought that co-education is good and effective. As it opens the door for competitions between both the genders to work with each other. In addition, it eradicates the nature of shyness between male and female at their work place. Furthermore, helps to learn balanced school life because of mutual interests among both.
As we have seen that, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance , I tend to believe that co-education helps us in all stages of our life .
Please assess my task 2
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Mayuri patel
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Thu May 01, 2014 11:42 am
Re: Please assess my task 2
Please grade my essay
Re: Please assess my task 2
In today's world we can stand no where without education, as it is considered to be because there are people without good education but good career growth, so you cannot be certain on thata pillar to mould ones career. There are different types of schools such as single sex and co-education schools consider removing "schools", its repeated twice in the same sentence to impart knowledge. The selection of school mainly depends upon the decision of parents and their children. In this essay , I am going to examine this question from both points of view. bit unclear, there is some lack in sentence coherence in this paragraph, \
On the one hand, there are people who believe that there are many benefits to educate both boys and girls in a separate institute. The principal reasons for thinking this is that it allows to study in a fearless environment. how you say fearless environment. Unless you explain that , the reader doesn't know why you said that point. so, explain your reason with examples, otherwise your TR core would be very low Secondly, no competition between two genders in the activities like sports, quite,as well as cultural events. Finally, it allows to choose the subjects of science field such as biology to study without feeling shy while doing practical session. I understand your points, but none of them with evidence, so practice by giving one point and extend,
On the other hand, there are people who thought that co-education is good and effective since it opens the door for competitions between both the genders if they compete then how they able to work with each other, I guess irrelevant reasonto work with each other. In addition, it eradicates the nature of shyness between male and female at their work place. Furthermore, what helps helps to learn balanced school life because of mutual interests among both. again no evidence to substantiate your reasons
As we have seen that, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance , I tend to believe that co-education helps us in all stages of our life . if you believe , then conclude your supporting side with the points you discussed in the supporting paragraphs
your word count is less minimum requirement of 250 words and you didn't provide and examples and appropriate reasons , so the task achievement would be band 5.
Grammar and lexis are fine to reach band 6, but coherence would be band 5. Because even though there is essay and paragraph cohesion, sentence coherence is lacking, so it affects the understanding of your essay. Overuse of cohesive devices are visible.
overall band 5.5 , may be 6 ( I am not an assessor)
On the one hand, there are people who believe that there are many benefits to educate both boys and girls in a separate institute. The principal reasons for thinking this is that it allows to study in a fearless environment. how you say fearless environment. Unless you explain that , the reader doesn't know why you said that point. so, explain your reason with examples, otherwise your TR core would be very low Secondly, no competition between two genders in the activities like sports, quite,as well as cultural events. Finally, it allows to choose the subjects of science field such as biology to study without feeling shy while doing practical session. I understand your points, but none of them with evidence, so practice by giving one point and extend,
On the other hand, there are people who thought that co-education is good and effective since it opens the door for competitions between both the genders if they compete then how they able to work with each other, I guess irrelevant reasonto work with each other. In addition, it eradicates the nature of shyness between male and female at their work place. Furthermore, what helps helps to learn balanced school life because of mutual interests among both. again no evidence to substantiate your reasons
As we have seen that, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance , I tend to believe that co-education helps us in all stages of our life . if you believe , then conclude your supporting side with the points you discussed in the supporting paragraphs
your word count is less minimum requirement of 250 words and you didn't provide and examples and appropriate reasons , so the task achievement would be band 5.
Grammar and lexis are fine to reach band 6, but coherence would be band 5. Because even though there is essay and paragraph cohesion, sentence coherence is lacking, so it affects the understanding of your essay. Overuse of cohesive devices are visible.
overall band 5.5 , may be 6 ( I am not an assessor)
JAN 2014 L 8.5 R 8 W 6.5 S 6.5
FEB 2014 L 8 R 8 W 7 S 6.5
APR 2014 L 8 R 9 W 6.5 S 7
JUN 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6
July 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6.5
OCT 2014 L 7.5 R 7 W 7 S 7
FEB 2014 L 8 R 8 W 7 S 6.5
APR 2014 L 8 R 9 W 6.5 S 7
JUN 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6
July 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6.5
OCT 2014 L 7.5 R 7 W 7 S 7
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Mayuri patel
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Thu May 01, 2014 11:42 am
Re: Please assess my task 2
Thank you so much durai