please correct this essay.

[robin20y]

Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
School education is mandatory until a specific age in most nations. However, it is a rather debated issue whether the basic schooling need to be extended to the age of eighteen. Since it is an apple in the eyes of many, a study is required to reach in a judicious conclusion.
There are numerous advantages in the prolonged school education. Firstly, teenagers would be exempted from the tensions related to the professional life. For instance, children, who are aged between 14 and 18, are already tensed with the hormonal changes due to the physical growth. Fortunately, extended school life would save them from being overwhelmed by tensions. As a result, they will get chance to enjoy their adolescence than engaged in professions.
Secondly, more education is an advantage for the individuals and also for the society. For example, educated people would get the jobs easily. So, added years of education will be beneficial for students to achieve a better career later. Similarly, educated people are an added advantage for a country as well. To be precise, educated work force can drive the productivity of a nation. Thus it is clear that adding more school years is equally beneficial to the society and to the individuals.
On the other hand, the negatives in the prolonged school years could not be brushed aside. First of all, governments need to spend more money to serve the increased number of students. To illustrate, more and more educational resources, professionals and buildings are essential to accommodate students. Such expenses may be a burden to some governments. However, these expenses are required to build a productive workforce for a country.
To conclude, extending the mandatory school age has both positives and negatives. Though, the advantages are far outweighing its disadvantages. Therefore, it is clear that extending the school years until the age of 18 is to be supported.

[Flick]

Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
School education is mandatory until a specific age in most nations. However, it is a rather debated issue whether basic schooling needs to be extended to the age of eighteen. Since this is a topic that affects so many, a study is required to reach a judicious conclusion.
There are numerous advantages to an extened school education. Firstly, teenagers would avoid the tensions related to professional life. For instance, children who are aged between 14 and 18 are already experiencing the stress of hormonal changes due to physical growth. An extended school life would save them from being overwhelmed. As a result, they will get the chance to enjoy their adolescence before entering a profession.
Secondly, more education is an advantage for the individual and also for society. For example, educated people get jobs easily. So, added years of education will be beneficial for students to achieve a better career later. Similarly, educated people are an added advantage for a country as well. To be precise, an educated work force can drive the productivity of a nation. Thus it is clear that adding more school years is equally beneficial to society and to individuals.
On the other hand, the negatives prolonged school years create cannot be brushed aside. First of all, governments need to spend more money to serve the increased number of students. To illustrate, more and more educational resources, professionals and buildings are essential to accommodate students. Such expenses may be a burden to some governments. However, these expenses are required to build a productive workforce for a country.
To conclude, extending the mandatory school age has both positives and negatives. Though the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Therefore, it is clear that extending school years until the age of 18 is to be supported.