Hi all. Here's an essay I've recently written. Can you check it and let me know the four sub scores you'll give me?
Thanks.
QUESTION:
Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money.
Do you agree or disagree?
Which other types of job should be highly paid?
ANSWER:
An outstanding entertainer earns their popularity with their extraordinary talents. For this reason, their high pay can be justified.
In general, I do not think entertainers are overpaid. There is a stereotype that all entertainers have incredibly huge salaries. But this is untrue because except for a small number of outstanding entertainers, most of them just belong to the middle class. Those who excel usually have great innate talents and are trained particularly well. For example, a successful singer often needs an excellent voice, skilled teachers to instruct them, and plenty of practice. In some countries, even an attractive appearance is crucial to their popularity. Therefore, though the salary of a successful singer, or of an outstanding entertainer in general, is overwhelming, since it is exceptionally difficult to achieve, it is reasonable.
I believe the reason why so many people are opposed to entertainers’ high salaries is that they feel there are other people that contribute significantly more to society but are not sufficiently paid. This is true to some extent. For example, scientists and researchers also need innate talents, a high level of education and diligence. In addition, many of their innovations and findings have contributed significantly to the progress of humanity, or have helped to improve our living standard remarkably. But their salaries are often humble. Likewise, teachers play an important role in nurturing our next generation. Yet their salaries are a lot lower than those of the top entertainers. I think to encourage all the above people to work harder and to encourage more people to take such careers, they should be better paid.
In conclusion, I do not think entertainers are paid too much. Some people, such as scientists, researchers and teachers contribute greatly to society. For this reason, they should also be highly paid.
Who Deserve Top Salaries
Re: Who Deserve Top Salaries
hi
your ideas are good. try to short the sentences. punctuation needs to be focused.
I'm not an expert, however, I'm just trying to help you out from the mistakes i can spot. the second paragraph needs to be rephrased in my view.
otherwise good work
your ideas are good. try to short the sentences. punctuation needs to be focused.
I'm not an expert, however, I'm just trying to help you out from the mistakes i can spot. the second paragraph needs to be rephrased in my view.
otherwise good work
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melaminefree
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Johnson zhang
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Re: Who Deserve Top Salaries
QUESTION:
Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money.
Do you agree or disagree?
Which other types of job should be highly paid?
ANSWER:
An outstanding entertainer earns their popularity with their extraordinary talents. For this reason, their high pay can be justified. really? do you mean like paris hilton gets paid thousands to party is 'cause she is talented?
In general, I do not think entertainers are overpaid. There is a stereotype that all entertainers have incredibly huge salaries. But this is untrue because except for a small number of outstanding entertainers, most of them just belong to the middle class. Those who excel usually have great innate talents and are trained particularly well. For example, a successful singer often needs an excellent voice, skilled teachers to instruct them, and plenty of practice. In some countries, even an attractive appearance is crucial to their popularity. Therefore, though the salary of a successful singer, or of an outstanding entertainer in general, is overwhelming, since it is exceptionally difficult to achieve, it is reasonable. if the money is over-welcoming to a person, it means he she is under the stress...hardly what you are trying to say.
what is hard to achieve ?
I believe the reason why so many people are opposed to entertainers’ high salaries is that they feel there are other people that contribute significantly more to society but are not sufficiently paid. This is true to some extent. For example, scientists and researchers also need innate talents, a high level of education and diligence. In addition, many of their innovations and findings have contributed significantly to the progress of humanity, or have helped to improve our living standard remarkably. But their salaries are often humble. Likewise, teachers play an important role in nurturing our next generation.Yet their salaries are a lot lower than those of the top entertainers. I think to encourage all the above people to work harder and to encourage more people to take such careers, they should be better paid. what?
In conclusion, I do not think entertainers are paid too much. Some people, such as scientists, researchers and teachers contribute greatly to society. For this reason, they should also be highly paid.
Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money.
Do you agree or disagree?
Which other types of job should be highly paid?
ANSWER:
An outstanding entertainer earns their popularity with their extraordinary talents. For this reason, their high pay can be justified. really? do you mean like paris hilton gets paid thousands to party is 'cause she is talented?
In general, I do not think entertainers are overpaid. There is a stereotype that all entertainers have incredibly huge salaries. But this is untrue because except for a small number of outstanding entertainers, most of them just belong to the middle class. Those who excel usually have great innate talents and are trained particularly well. For example, a successful singer often needs an excellent voice, skilled teachers to instruct them, and plenty of practice. In some countries, even an attractive appearance is crucial to their popularity. Therefore, though the salary of a successful singer, or of an outstanding entertainer in general, is overwhelming, since it is exceptionally difficult to achieve, it is reasonable. if the money is over-welcoming to a person, it means he she is under the stress...hardly what you are trying to say.
what is hard to achieve ?
I believe the reason why so many people are opposed to entertainers’ high salaries is that they feel there are other people that contribute significantly more to society but are not sufficiently paid. This is true to some extent. For example, scientists and researchers also need innate talents, a high level of education and diligence. In addition, many of their innovations and findings have contributed significantly to the progress of humanity, or have helped to improve our living standard remarkably. But their salaries are often humble. Likewise, teachers play an important role in nurturing our next generation.Yet their salaries are a lot lower than those of the top entertainers. I think to encourage all the above people to work harder and to encourage more people to take such careers, they should be better paid. what?
In conclusion, I do not think entertainers are paid too much. Some people, such as scientists, researchers and teachers contribute greatly to society. For this reason, they should also be highly paid.
Nothing is impossible! Band score 9 is certainly not.
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melaminefree
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