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Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality would bring problems as well as benefits.
Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

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Over the last decade, the number of people who are getting famous has significantly increased the world over. Besides, the celebrities such as sport person or film actors are having positive and negative effect in their life. Therefore, this essay is an attempt to analyse the advantages and disadvantages of being a popular person before arriving at a satisfactory outcome.

On the one hand, there are many benefits for people who are very famous. One of the main advantages is that they could earn a lot of money in a very less period of time compared to other people. For example, Dhoni, a captain of Indian cricket team, receives 100000 dollars for acting in one advertisement because of his fame in sports. This is not equivalent to a normal working person such as primary school teacher whose pay is far less than him. Thus, it is clear that being a celebrity would have positive impact in their life.

On the other hand, many argue that popular persons have significant drawbacks. The primary disadvantage is the affect of their private life. For instance, Rajinikanth, a film actor and a superstar of Tamil Nadu, India, never go to shopping malls or cinemas. This is because wherever he goes, people crowd in that place and make his life tough by asking autographs and requesting for photos with him. From this example, it is clear that popular people would have problems as well.

In summary, there are both benefits and drawbacks of being a famous person. To my mind, there are more positive sides for the celebrities because financial capacity would replace any drawbacks. Let us hope that these people would enjoy their time by using all the benefits as a popular person.

Hi Durai.
You are doing a good job really. I love the simplicity of your writing. Also it is quiet easy to the reader to understand your writing.
In the opening sentence, can we use all over the world instead of world over?. I think that will add some color to the writing isn't it?
Likely, instead of using a lot money, I would prefer a vast amount of wealth. I don't know whether it is right or wrong to use like that.
Next problem I can find that "Dhoni, a captain". it can be rephrased to Dhoni, the captain of Indian cricket team.
"The primary disadvantage is the affect of their private life". Lack of privacy in the personal life is a main negative impact of being popular.
Apart from these small mistakes, your essay is doing well. practice well before your next IELTS. I hope you can conquer the test in next time.
All the best from my side.

Thanks Robin,

I do agree with you,

" the world over " is an idiom means " all over the world. so both can be used and correct.


Good luck

Durai

Guys, my essay has been checked by an IELTS instructor, below are the corrections and estimated band

Over the last decade, the number of people who are getting famous has significantly increased the world over. Besides, the celebrities such as sports person or film actors are having positive and negative effect on their life. Therefore, this essay is an attempt to analyse the advantages and disadvantages of being a popular person before arriving at a satisfactory outcome.

On the one hand, there are many benefits for people who are very famous. One of the main advantages is that they could earn a lot of money in a short period of time compared to other people. For example, Dhoni, the captain of Indian cricket team, receives 100000 dollars for acting in one advertisement because of his fame in sports. This is not equivalent to a normal working person such as primary school teacher whose pay is far less than him. Thus, it is clear that being a celebrity would have positive impact on their life.

On the other hand, many argue that being a popular person have significant drawbacks. The primary disadvantage is the effect on their private life. For instance, Rajinikanth, a film actor and a superstar of Tamil Nadu, India, never goes to shopping malls or cinemas. This is because wherever he goes, people gather at that place and make his life tough by asking for autographs and requesting for photos with him. From this example, it is clear that popular people have problems as well.

In summary, there are both benefits and drawbacks of being a famous person. To my mind, there are more positive sides for the celebrities because financial capacity would replace any drawbacks. Let us hope that these people would enjoy their time by using all the benefits of being a popular person.


Score:

TR: 7
CC: 7
LR: 6
GR: 6

Overall 6.5

Being a celebrity
Being a celebrity is not an easiest way of life.of course beside all the advantages of luxury life,fame and loved ones.so once in a life every person dreams about being celebrity.so disadvantages must be taken into consideration.

Let us just think of the celebrity life is luxurious and with deluxe accommodation. They can buy anything they want. They have income that every person is dreaming in their life.

But as saying-money is not everything their personal life is not so exciting as seems to be. For instance, Britney spears is a famous young girl that everyone wanted to follow. But as time went on she had some growing personal problems.She was seen in night clubs wearing the least dress,once she cuts her hair bald,she had alcohol and drug addiction. Anyway,being a celebrity is not often easy and beautiful.

Moreover,let us just mention the paparazzos. They even cannot go to their doors to pickup newspaper without being photographed. They have to carefull about their private life,because their fans are following them.They also have to be behaved perfect. We all know that no one is perfect,so celebrities has to carry out fake personality for their fans otherwise their fans got disappointed.

To sum up all, I must admit it that money or luxurious life is not everything. Before to run behind the fame one must be fimaliar with its consequences. There are not all roses,thorne are also there.

Dear Durai

State your position clearly in the introduction. For example:
Over the last decade, the number of people who are becoming famous has significantly increased the world over. Celebrities such as sports people or film actors have positive and negative impacts on their lives, but I believe that the rewards are greater than the drawbacks.

You are writing at the 7,000 word level and use good examples to explain your points. You could develop your arguments further and you need to work on your grammar.

I hope this helps.



Kind regards
Teacher Jill