Crime in young people - IELTS task 2 model answer

[candy07]

QUESTION - You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world.

What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

You should write at least 250 words.


RESPONSE -

Crime is defined as the violation of law. Recently there has been a sharp increase in the number of cases of young people committing crimes all over the world. This is an alarming issue for the society as well as the young individuals. Unemployment and family abuse are suggested as the two main reasons for increase in cases of juvenile delinquency Solutions such as implementation of employment schemes and family education will be analysed for viability .

Firstly, it is felt that the main cause of increased crime rate among young individuals is unemployment . Lack of job leads to frustration and poor financial status. So, many young people commit crimes such as looting and stealing to cope with their frustration and to get some money.For example , it has been observed that there are increased cases of youth crime after the global financial crisis hit the world. A research conducted at a European University has confirmed that more than sixty percent of young people committing crime are unemployed . Thus it is suggested that government should implement employment schemes to help young individuals get jobs. As more and more people will be employed , lesser number of individuals will resort to criminal activities . Thus, employment appears as a promising solution to the problem .

Familial abuse in younger years of life is proposed as a reason for increased cases of youth crime. Due to nonsupporting families and poor parenting , young individuals vent out their anger by committing unlawful activities . For instance , in a study carried out on young criminals in Australia, It was found that most of the criminals face rejection from parents and suffer from emotional abuse during their childhood . Therefore , to curb this problem , parents should be educated to be supportive and loving towards their young ones . Children should be taught to report parental abuse and disputes to appropriate helping organisations.

To conclude , it can be said that the society itself is responsible for increase in cases of juvenile delinquency. If governments take appropriate steps to employ young individuals and address family abuse issues seriously , this evil can be nipped in the bud.

[yhjsaber]

Incorporating both problems and solutions in one paragraph is indeed a smart and logical approach. I will employ this way of responding to an essay question in my test tomorrow. Thank you very much for sharing!

Carlen

[allen_zhang]

Good luck with your test!

[durai]

Hi,

writing one paragraph for causes and one paragraph for solutions us also a smart and logical way to answer such question as long as your wordings are flawless. I scored band 7 with this approach.

I would say incorporating both cause and solutions in one single paragraph may have less in task response score because its hard to give examples and explain for both points you making.

Anyway, everyone can adapt structure which best suits them, it's just a matter of explaining things to convince examiner.

Good luck for candidates appearing this month.


Durai

[candy07]

Hi

Many Thanks for your responses .
I believe writing the cause and the solution in the same paragraph makes essay easier to comprehend, but I will try the other approach as well .
Can you please grade this essay according to band score

Chandni