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Can you please review the following essay for me? It would be helpful if you can provide a score too

Topic - In some countries, with the widespread use of the internet, people are able to work or study from home, instead of having to travel to work or college. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Discuss and state your own opinion.

Undoubtedly this is an era of internet which impacts one's personal as well as professional life. The effect is seen more on the developed countries where people choose to work or study from home instead of going to office or university. Some consider this approach to be an advantage while others reject this as a disadvantage. Both the points of views will be discussed in order.

On the one hand, the benefit that professionals or students get by connecting from home is enormous. For one, it helps working people to maintain work life balance. The best example is the new mother who can join her work as well as take care of her baby. People also get the desired flexibility in terms of working hours. For students too, studying from home is an attractive option. They save the travelling time to Universities and utilize that time on their studies. In a busy city like Tokyo, students waste a lot of time in travelling. Thus, the advantages that people enjoy by working or studying from home, are obvious.

On the other hand, one part of the society, has doubt over the productivity of people who prefers to work or study from home. Many employers argue that once an employee works from isolation, he or she spends a lot of time in communication via phone or email with colleagues. This harms an employee's deliverable. Teachers think that students get affected too as they can not clear their doubts in study topics instantly. Due to this they lag in their studies. These factors affect people who work or study from home.

Following both the point of views, the option of working or studying from home is thought to provide more benefits than drawbacks. It is hoped that people will continue to use internet to work or study and improve on the disadvantages into the foreseeable future.

Undoubtedly this is an era of the internet which impacts one's personal as well as professional life. These effects are seen more on the developed countries where people choose to work or study from home instead of going to office or university respectively. Some consider this approach to be an advantage while others reject this as a disadvantage wrong sentence, grammatically and meaningless . Some believe that this approach has significant advantages while others argue that it has many disadvantages. This essay analyze both sides before arriving at a satisfactory outcome.

On the one hand, the benefit that professionals or students attain by connecting from home is enormous. For one, it helps working people to maintain work life balance. The best example is that a new born mother is able to do office works while taking care of her baby. People also get the desired flexibility in terms of working hours. Studying from home is an attractive option for students as well . They save the travelling time to universities and utilize them on their studies. In a busy city like Tokyo, students waste a lot of time in travelling. Thus, the advantages that people enjoy by working or studying from home are obvious.

On the other hand, some people have a doubt over the productivity of people who prefers to work or study from home. Many employers argue that once an employee works from isolation, he or she spends a lot of time in communication via phone or email with colleagues. I don't understand what you trying to sayThis harms an employee's deliverable. ? Teachers think that students get affected too as they can not clear their doubts in study topics instantly. but the can email teachers to clarify the doubts Due to this they lag in their studies. These factors affect people who work or study from home. overall, not a convincing paragraph

Following both the remove article points of view, the option of working or studying from home is thought to provide more benefits than drawbacks. It is hoped that people will continue to use internet to work or study and improve on the disadvantages into the foreseeable future. how disadvnatge can be improved

Not a good essay overall because of poor wording, grammar errors sustain through out the essay, try to answer the question but due to poor structure task achievement is less, many sentences are meaningless.

Looks band 5.5 to 6 ( I am not an assessor)