Page 1 of 1

Help me amend this letter! I need your criticism, Friends

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 11:01 am
by Abs
The headteacher of a school wants someone to talk to his/her pupils about his/her job. Your manager has asked you to do so.
Write a letter to the head teacher of the school and say
. who you are and and what work you do
. What you will talk about
. What equipment you need.


Dear Sir,

I am writing to express my interest in giving presentation about your job to your students.

I am Sunny Frain and I am 30 years old. I finished my degree in Accounting from UTS in July 2011 and since been working as an accountant in Telstra.

As this presentation is all about your introduction, your qualifications and experience in teaching are the key points that I will talk about. To keep students involved, I would also like to include your non-academic achievements. In relation to this presentation, I think it would be more relevant to use adobe power-point. For this, I may need a laptop, which is compatible with adobe software. I would also need a smart board to screen the power-point so as to enable all the students to see it clearly.

Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Your faithfully,
Sunny Frain
Abs

Re: Help me amend this letter! I need your criticism, Friend

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 3:30 am
by delvydavis
Hi

I think you misunderstood the task. the Head teacher is asking about to explain about your job, not head teacher's job.

Please correct it and post

Re: Help me amend this letter! I need your criticism, Friend

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 4:02 am
by Abs
Hi Delvy!

This question is 100 percent correct. Would you be able to pinpoint any shortcomings (I guess there are many) of this letter?