IELTSNetwork.com

There are many different reasons that can keep a person in their workplace. Some believe that
money is the main reason. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

People have different views on how to keep employees’ loyalty to a company or organization. While some people believe that money is the most important factor to keep their employees in their workplace, I believe that there are other equally important factors.

On the one hand, I accept that money plays a fairly significant role in people’s choosing of a career. Having a decent income, people can provide their family with a better living standard. For example, they could afford a big house, send their children to private school and even travel overseas frequently. Thus, it is understandable why some people give high priority to the number on their paycheck when choosing a job.

However, I would say that money is not the only thing that is linked to job satisfaction. To begin with, a satisfactory working environment is a contributing factor leading to employees' loyalty. For example, Google, the rising star in the information technology, is famous of its comfortable, free and homy office environment. There are even fitness rooms and bars in their office where employees can enjoy and relax during work. This definitely contribute to keeping its employees' loyalty. Furthermore, some people also put priority on job security and stability. For instance, in China, many young graduates are dying to find a position in the government, even if it is not well paid. The reason behind this phenomenon is that these positions are very stable. As Chinese government rarely fires employees, once a person gets a job in the government, he gets a job for life.

To conclude, from my point of view, a good salary is important to keep employees’ loyalty, but it is not the only consideration in people’s choosing of a job. A good working environment and job security are also important factors to keep an employee in their workplace.

People have different views on how to keep employees’ loyalty to a company or organization. I think you have misunderstood the topic; the question asks about why employees keep their work either because of money or any other different factors; your wordings look how companies keep their employees. . While some people believe that money is the most important factor to keep their employees in their workplace, I believe that there are other equally important factors.

On the one hand, I accept that money plays a fairly significant role in people’s choosing of a career. Having a decent income, people can provide their family with a better living standard. For example, they could afford a big house, send their children to private school and even travel overseas frequently. Thus, it is understandable why some people give high priority to the number on their paycheck when choosing a job. sentences look complicated

However, I would say that money is not the only thing that is linked to job satisfaction. To begin with, a satisfactory working environment is a contributing factor leading to employees' loyalty. For example, Google, the rising star in the information technology, is famous of for ( could be suitable, not sure) its comfortable, free and home office environment. There are even fitness rooms and bars in their office where employees can enjoy and relax while working . This definitely contributes to keep its employees' loyalty. Furthermore, some people also put a priority on job security and stability. For instance, in China, many young graduates are dying I use 'struggling' to find a job in the government sector , (even if it is not well paid) this part lack coherence with its first part, use 'trying' for 'dying' . The reason behind this phenomenon is that these positions are very stable. As the Chinese government rarely fires employees, once a person gets a job in the government, he gets a job for life. last one is bit awkward, in my view)

To conclude, from my point of view, a good salary is important to keep employees’ loyalty, but it is not the only consideration in people’s choosing of a job. A good working environment and job security are also important factors to keep an employee in their workplace.

I assume you understood the topic, but your wordings are bit deviated from the original question.


There are many different reasons that can keep a person in their workplace. Some believe that
money is the main reason. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Here the subject is " reasons that keep a person in their workplace" but they didn't ask what a person looks when searching for a job. So, all your examples should relate to this, only in my opinion.

For example, if you work for a company, does money keeps you work for this company or anything else.

I say money plays an important role in addition to other factors such as time, flexibility, co-workers etc.


I post my essay on the same topic soon.



Durai

Thanks Durai,
A few discussions:
#1 According to my understanding, the topic actually is asking for job satisfaction - it do ask : how employer keep their employees? money or something else?

#2 it is understandable why some people give high priority to the number on their paycheck when choosing a job.
I just want to say:
It is understandable why some people give a high priority to salary when choosing a job.
I use "the number on their paycheck" to make this sentence more interesting, but I am not sure if it works.

#3 is famous of
As I checked, you are right, should be "is famous for"

#4 contributes to keep its employees' loyalty.
contributes to do sth. or contributes to doing sth? we had this discussion before.

#5 be dying to do something.
It is more like spoken language.

#6 a job for life.
I heard someone say this before. it means that it is job that you will do for your entire life - you don't get fired.