Writing Task II - Sporting events precursor to World peace?

[IndianHarry]

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The history of Human race has been a one filled with violence – from the ancient tribal skirmishes to the modern wards. Thinkers of all ages have pondered over the solution to this problem , and many of them have agreed on that a creative outlet to the pent up energy is the need of the hour. Perhaps, the most spectacular and interesting of these outlets are the international sporting events that bring people of different nationalities together. This essay seeks to support the notion that such events contribute to world peace and international harmony.

To begin with, sporting events act as dispersers of misunderstandings. As people belonging to different countries come together they get to know each not through the tinted glass of politics but through their own eyes. This interaction reminds them of all the things they have in common. As an example, India hosts Kabaddi World Cup each year in which their arch rival Pakistan also participates. While there is always a political tension between the two countries, the sporting event is the exact opposite. Both the people and players of both the countries interacting in mutual respect and love.

Moreover, a lot of pent up emotions are released during the adrenaline filled event of seeing one’s country compete. Players are seen accepting even losses as a part of honoring the spirit of sportsmanship. Player being role models, it is inevitable that his spirit flows out to other facets of life also. In addition to this, the common love for the sport itself makes people let go of grudges held on the basis of one’s nationality. This eases out the process of accepting the other country as a whole. No surprise that a decade long study conducted by UNESCO has shown a decrease in violence in the months preceding big sporting occasions.

The idea that sporting events are a precursor to world peace is a one easily backed by both studies and common sense. It is a thoroughly agreeable point of view.

[allen_zhang]

Nice essay,
Sophisticate wording.
Rare grammatical errors.
Good use of idioms.

What else I can say?

The history of Human race has been a one filled with violence – from the ancient tribal skirmishes to the modern wars. Thinkers of all ages have pondered over the solution to this problem , and many of them have agreed on that a creative outlet to the pent up energy is the need of the hour. Perhaps, the most spectacular and interesting one of these outlets is the international sporting events that bring people of different nationalities together. This essay seeks to support the notion that such events contribute to world peace and international harmony.

To begin with, sporting events act as dispersers of misunderstandings. As people belonging to different countries come together, they get to know each other not through the tinted glass of politics but through their own eyes. This interaction reminds them of all the things they have in common. As an example, India hosts Kabaddi World Cup each year, in which its arch rival Pakistan also participates. While there is always a political tension between the two countries, the sporting event is the exact opposite. The people and players of both two countries interact in mutual respect and love.

Moreover, a lot of pent up emotions are released during the adrenaline filled event of seeing one’s country compete. Players are seen accepting even losses as a part of honoring the spirit of sportsmanship. With players being role models, it is inevitable that their spirit flows out to other facets of life also.(influence other people? just his life? ) In addition to this, the common love for the sport itself makes people let go of grudges held on the basis of one’s nationality. This eases out the process of accepting the other country as a whole.(I don't really understand this well) No surprise that a decade long study conducted by UNESCO has shown a decrease in violence in the months preceding big sporting occasions.

The idea that sporting events are a precursor to world peace is aremove a? one easily backed by both studies and common sense. It is a thoroughly agreeable point of view.