Can anyone give feedback on it

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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Kitpanc
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Oct 08, 2013 7:43 am

Can anyone give feedback on it

Post by Kitpanc »

Many young people leave school with a negative attitude. What are the reasons? How can we encourage young people to study?

In the recent past, we have lost our faith on schools which can teach students into good manner. Apparently, it has recently been suggested that students always come with negative behaviours when they leave school. Thus, it is important for us to investigate this issue in order to search for some possible changes in our educational system for the sake of motivating pupils to study.
First and foremost, there are several reasons which make students to have negative attitudes.Take a good example of the students background, some of them grow up in a violent environment, their parents use violence to solve problems that they have encountered in their childhood. Therefore, children have learnt and adopted these problem solving skills and end up with using these techniques for their entire life. Secondly, we should also blame for the widespread of social medias, teenagers can easily search for some popular medias which contain many foul languages and sexual issues that make them to become fond of applying them into real life.
Besides, encouraging students to attend schools is a proper solution to tackle this concern. In order to achieve this goal, teachers should ensure the safety of pupils in schools and get them away from either bullying nor isolating by their friends. In addition, parents should educate their children of the importances of learning, for instance, easily to expand their social network and equip the necessary skills for them to have better competitive advantages in the job market.
In conclusion, there could be having some others possible causes and solutions for this issue. However, if the parents, social medias and teachers can cooperate together, this problem will no longer be existed.


Thanks for your time on reading it
Kitpanc
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Oct 08, 2013 7:43 am

Re: Can anyone give feedback on it

Post by Kitpanc »

Please provide feedback on my essay
I am very appreciated with your helps and time
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Flick
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Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Can anyone give feedback on it

Post by Flick »

Kitpanc wrote:Many young people leave school with a negative attitude. What are the reasons? How can we encourage young people to study?

In the recent past, we have lost our faith in schools which can teach students good manners. Apparently, it has recently been suggested that students always come away with negative behaviours when they leave school. Thus, it is important for us to investigate this issue in order to search for some possible changes in our educational system for the sake of motivating pupils to study.

First and foremost, there are several reasons which cause students to have negative attitudes. A good example of this isthe student's background; some of them grow up in a violent environment, their parents use violence to solve problems that they have encountered in their childhood. Therefore, their children have learnt and adopted these inappropriate and ineffective problem solving skills and end up using these techniques for their entire life. Secondly, we should also consider the impact widespread use of social media has had on the younger generation. Teenagers can easily search for popular medias which contain foul language and sexual issues that should not be available to people their age.

Encouraging students to attend school is a proper solution to tackle this concern. In order to achieve this goal, teachers should ensure the safety of pupils in school and protect them from bullying and isolation. In addition, parents should educate their children of the importance of learning. For instance, easily expanding their social network and equipping them with the necessary skills for them to have better competitive advantages in the job market.
In conclusion, while there could be some other possible causes and solutions for this issue, if the parents, social medias and teachers can cooperate , this problem will no longer exist.
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