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Please criticize my essay

Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 9:36 am
by saqibali
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.



Sports profession has been a hot as well as a lucrative profession since media has started giving it extra-ordinary coverage. The extra income that a successful and famous sports professional earns has always been a hot and controversial discussion topic. Some people declares this earning as deserving while the other people consider it unjustified. Both these views are being analyzed before a reasoned opinion is crafted.

To the critic's side, the greater amount of earning of a sports professional constitutes his earnings from advertisements, television shows and other streams which are not the direct effort of the sports professional rather this earning is "extra" result of their reputation. In addition to this, sports professional are also given percentage of each product sold on their name. However, they critics should also consider the extraordinary hard work and talent that a sports professional develop to beat exceptional and extraordinary competition. In addition, a sports professional sacrifices his most important life belongings and desired to practice his talent and to reach the level of expertise. Considering this extraordinary handwork and spending of a sports professional, the extra income can be justified.

To the favor party, a sports professional deserves the extra income because of his extraordinary hard work and natural talent that he developed over the span of his life. Pertinently, a sports professional spends almost his complete life to develop his mind and physical abilities to reach this high level of talent.in addition, his hardwork brings respect and popularity to a whole nation, which, again goes to the credit of a sports professional. Considering these benefits, it can be understood that why the great income of a sports professional is justified.

Analyzing both sides of the view, its being reasonably concluded that the extra income of sports professional is justified. So, it is recommended that a sports professional should be encouraged to reap all materialistic benefits of this effort.

Re: Please criticize my essay

Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 10:50 pm
by Flick
saqibali wrote:Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.



Professional sportsmanship has been a hot as well as a lucrative profession since the media started giving it extraordinary coverage. The extra income that a successful and famous sports professional earns has always been a controversial topic. Some people declare the amount players earn as deserving while the other people consider it unjustified. Both these views are analyzed below.

Onthe critic's side, the considerable amount made by a sports professional constitutes his earnings from advertisements, television shows and other streams which are not the direct result of the athlete's work, rather this extra income is a result of their reputation. In addition to this, sports professionals are also given a percentage of each product sold intheir name. However, the critics should also consider the extraordinary hard work and talent that a sports professional develops to beat exceptional and extraordinary competition. In addition, a sports professional sacrifices his most important life belongings and desires in order to practice his talent and to reach a high level of expertise. Considering this extraordinary hard work, the extra income can be justified.

Those who support this level of income argue that a sports professional deserves the extra income because of his extraordinary hard work and the natural talent that he developed over the span of his life. Pertinently, a sports professional spends almost his entire life developing his mind and physical abilities to reach a high level of talent. In addition, his hard work brings respect and popularity to a whole nation which, again, is to the credit of a sports professional. Considering these benefits, it can be understood that why the great income of a sports professional is justified.

Analyzing both points of view, it is reasonably concluded that the extra income of a sports professional is justified. So, it is recommended that a sports professional should be encouraged to reap all materialistic benefits of this effort.
Hi saqibali
You only covered one side of the argument. You stated that a player deserves his income due to hard work and bringing credit to his nation. But what about the other side? Some people feel that doctors, teachers and charity workers should receive higher pay because their work directly benefits society. What about using all that extra money to help people?
Thanks,
Flick

Re: Please criticize my essay

Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2014 10:50 am
by saqibali
This helped.
thanks a lot.
Can you kindly give me band?

Re: Please criticize my essay

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 1:15 pm
by saqibali
Anyone who can
Spot the grammer mistakes?
Challenge my task achievement?
Challenge my Understanding?
Suggest better variety of words and phrases?
Suggest better cohesion?
Suggest better sentences and words?

Re: Please criticize my essay

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 4:47 pm
by saqibali
saqibali wrote:Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Rough work:In this essay these are important points to discuss.
Extra Income of Sports professionals compared to other IMPORTANT professions.
Discussion Essay


Sports profession has been a hot as well as a lucrative[better use the word "well earning" to align with topic] profession since media has started giving it extra-ordinary coverage. started its extraodrinary coverage. The extra income that a successful and famous sports professional earns has always been a hot and controversial discussion topic. Some people declares this earning as deserving while the other people consider it unjustified. Both these views are being analyzed before a reasoned opinion is crafted.

To the critic's side, the greater amount of earning of a sports professional constitutes his earnings from advertisements, television shows and other streams which are not the direct effort of the sports professional rather this earning is "extra" result of their reputation[To the critic's side, earning of a sports professional from television shows is not direct return of his hard work]. In addition to this, sports professionals are also given percentage of each product sold on their name. However, they critics should also consider the extraordinary hard work and talent that a sports professional develop to beat exceptional and extraordinary competition. In addition, a sports professional sacrifices his most important life belongings and desired to practice his talent and to reach the level of expertise. Considering this extraordinary handwork and spending of a sports professional, the extra income can be justified.

To the favor party, a sports professional deserves the extra income because of his extraordinary hard work and natural talent that he developed over the span of his life. Pertinently, a sports professional spends almost his complete life to develop his mind and physical abilities to reach this high level of talent.in addition, his hardwork brings respect and popularity to a whole nation, which, again goes to the credit of a sports professional. Considering these benefits, it can be understood that why the great income of a sports professional is justified.

Analyzing both sides of the view, its being reasonably concluded that the extra income of sports professional is justified. So, it is recommended that a sports professional should be encouraged to reap all materialistic benefits of this effort.