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Academic Writing Task - Traffic accidents

Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 12:03 pm
by bionic89
Topic: Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures should be more effective in improving road safety.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Answer:

It is true that thousands of people lose their lives in road accidents. This is due to the fact that there is traffic, insufficient driving education and most of the drives are unaware of the consequences. What should be done to deal with this problem?

On the one hand, high fines are applied to those, for instance, who exceed the speed limit. As a result, drivers are being careful in order to avoid paying substantial sums of money. In addition to that, in some cases their driving licenses are taken by the authorities, thus they cannot drive for a long period of time. In this case, they are hesitant of breaching any of the rules, because car is probably the most popular means of transportation. For example, it is used as a way of travelling and commuting. For others, it is essential for their job like taxi drivers and truck drivers.

On the other hand, it is claimed that other drastic actions should be taken into consideration. In fact, fines have not decreased accidents. It is apparent that the remedy is education. Attending seminars regarding safety in roads should be obligatory for students and not only adults. Moreover, the government ought to release various TV ads and bring awareness to the public about car accidents. The more shocking they are, the more careful drivers will be.

In brief, I assume that fines increase the state’s revenue but the truth is they are not changing the situation. In my view, road education in an early age is the solution to this problem.



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Once again, i need your help by posting any comments, corrections and feedback. Thank you in advance

Re: Academic Writing Task - Traffic accidents

Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 9:47 pm
by Flick
bionic89 wrote:Topic: Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures should be more effective in improving road safety.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Answer:

It is true that thousands of people lose their lives in road accidents. This is due to the fact that there is traffic, insufficient driving education and most of the drives are unaware of the consequences. (<-- Consequences of what? Add a bit more to this sentence, for example, '...unaware of the consequences of dangerous or inattentive driving.') What should be done to deal with this problem?

On the one hand, high fines are applied to those who, for instance, exceed the speed limit. As a result, drivers are being careful in order to avoid paying substantial sums of money. In addition to fines, in some cases their driving license is taken by the authorities, thus they cannot drive for a long period of time. In this case, they are hesitant of breaching any of the rules, because their car is probably the most popular means of transportation, and losing the right to drive can have a financial as well as a humiliating impact . For example, it is used as a way of travelling and commuting. For others, it is essential for their job, like taxi drivers and truck drivers.

On the other hand, it is claimed that other drastic actions should be taken into consideration. In fact, fines have not decreased accidents. It is apparent that the remedy is education. Attending seminars regarding safety on roads should be obligatory for students and adults. Moreover, the government ought to release various TV ads and increase the awareness of the public about car accidents. The more shocking they are, the more careful drivers will be.

In brief, I assume that fines increase the state’s revenue but the truth is they are not changing the situation. In my view, road education from an early age is the solution to this problem.



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Hi bionic89,

You made a great start talking about awareness of consequences. But you didn't continue this theme. You wrote about fines and mandatory education, but you could have been more specific about the type of education. For example, would the public learn about the legal ramifications of an accident, or how it can affect the victim and their family, or the financial impact an accident can have on the driver?
However, your conclusion was concise and easy to understand and you made your opinion very clear. Well done!

Flick