writing task 2 on learning language early. please feedback

[oanhthuy]

Here are 2 essays on "learning language early" topic written by me and my friends.
Please give me some feedback. The first is mine and the second one is my friend
Thanks in advance everyone.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay 1:
Some parents are increasingly support the idea that children should start studying a second language at early age these days. While this trend might contain certain drawbacks, I personally believe that primary school is a perfect time for young children to expose to a new language beside their mother tongue.

On the one hand, kids can be offered great benefits when learning foreign language at the level of primary school. Firstly, young children do not “learn” languages like teenagers or adolescents do, they “acquire” languages. Their young brains allow them to absorb the sounds, structures, intonation patterns and rules intuitively, as they responded to mother tongue. As a result, primary students are able to speak or write other countries’ languages naturally and with native-like accent and pronunciation. Secondly, being proficient in two or three languages early provides kids with a wider and better educational and professional opportunity. A bilingual or trilingual students, for instance, is considered be more eligible applicator for study abroad scholarships or be more competent to global companies’ requirements in comparison to monolingual ones.

On the other hand, it is not always benefit for young learners in certain conditions. It is true that not many primary schools can afford native language teachers or professional but expensive English learning software. If a non-native speaker becomes a language teacher, he or she might not able to teach the kids a perfect language and might struggle with helping them to learn to speak comfortably. In this condition, precise imitation ability in young children turns out a huge obstacle and they might mimic a wrong accent or pronunciation, which becomes even harder to fix as they grow up.

In conclusion, I believe that primary school is the best timing for a person to start learning other language if they are facilitated with qualified teachers and methods.
(303 words)

Essay 2:
Nowadays, many worried parents force their children to learn a second language at very early age hoping that their children will have better preparation for a competitive future. I strongly support the early language study given the proper educational methodology. Besides, I also point out some drawbacks and consequences of improper language training for young kids.

On the one hand, it is easy to pinpoint the advantages including natural pronunciation, intuitive processing and diversity in a child who can speak many languages. Scientists have concluded that at very young age, human brain is flexible to absorb, correct and imitate linguistics features. It is very difficult to correct the differences once a person reaches to the age at 10. For some very separated languages such as Chinese and English, the gap may never be closed if a child does not learn early. In addition, equipped with perfect bilingual (may be trilingual) ability, a child tends to be more confident and open to such a diverse and interactive world today. Finally, it is not accidental that most of the big and prestigious schools in the world often value the diversity adaptability. Obviously, being strong in languages has open many opportunities for the children to develop.

On the other hand, inappropriate methodology leads to the results of incompetent linguistic capability, confusion and often hard-to-fix consequences. Most of primary schools in the world including such a multi-background society like America, offering native speaking teachers is likely not easy except for some very expensive programs that most of the families cannot afford. As a result, non-native teacher often fail to teach the children with perfect languages. As a natural process, the kids absorb the languages with defects and those stay with them forever. Consequently, the advantages mentioned above are lost due to improper training methods.

In conclusion, second language learning at early age has been proved to bring many benefits for children given that the training process is appropriate.
(323 words)

[youngsherlock]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Essay 1:

Some parents are increasingly support the idea that children should start studying a second language at early age these days. While this trend might contain certain drawbacks, I personally believe that primary school is a perfect time for young children to expose to a new language beside their mother tongue. Its advantages certainly outweigh its disadvantages.

Kids can be offered great benefits when learning foreign language at the level of primary school. Firstly, young children do not “learn” languages like teenagers or adolescents do, they “acquire” languages. Their young brains allow them to absorb the sounds, structures, intonation patterns and rules intuitively, as they responded to mother tongue. As a result, primary students are able to speak or write other countries’ languages naturally and with native-like accent and pronunciation. Secondly, being proficient in two or three languages early provides kids with a wider and better educational and professional opportunity. A bilingual or trilingual students, for instance, is considered be more eligible applicator for study abroad scholarships or be more competent to global companies’ requirements in comparison to monolingual ones.

On the other hand, learning foreign language at primary school has a negative side,too. Not many primary schools can afford native speakers but instead choose to employ non-natives teachers. If a non-native speaker becomes a language teacher, he or she might not able to teach the kids a perfect language and might struggle with helping them to learn to speak comfortably. In this condition, precise imitation ability in young children turns out a huge obstacle and they might mimic a wrong accent or pronunciation, which becomes even harder to fix as they grow up.

In conclusion, I believe the pros outnumbers the cons. Primary school is the best timing for younsters to start learning other language only if they are facilitated with qualified teachers and methods.
(303 words)

Hi, Essay 1

Everytime I write an IELTS essay, I have to imagine that after I finish my writting I have to read the whole passage to an old man who is almost deaf. He can not hear me well. And if he can not understand what I am reading to him, he is going to shoot me. Having this man rounded in the corner of my mind, I have to speak clearly, loudly, and simply so that he will not have a hard time understanding me----and using transitions definitely will help.

I don't see any kidnappings of Task Achievement nor do I see grammar monsters.
U are great!

[oanhthuy]

Thanks a lots youngsherlock.
I will definitely try to add those transition sentences on my next essay. I can see they can make my ideas more explicit and easier for readers to follow.

really sorry for the slow response, since I'm not online for most of this week (lucky I still have you commended though)

Thank you again ^^