IELTSNetwork.com

I hope you are well. It has been a while when I wrote to you last time. I am writing you to invite on the occasion of my son’s first Birthday celebration.

As you know, my wife and I had been planning for our son’s first birthday celebration since long, and finally last week, we decided to organize it on a big scale. We were having long conversations till last week about budget, and we never wanted to compromise on any necessary thing for the function including food, return gifts, etc. As you are one of the closest friends I have, I am sending you the first invitation to you. Also, we have always celebrated each other’s cherish and big moments together so you have to be with me on this occasion as well. I will be more than happy if you come along with your whole family.

Furthermore, you need not to worry about the accommodation, which I have already arranged for all the guests coming from different cities. We have booked ten rooms in hotel City Park which is 200 meters away from our house and one can cover the distance by walking. Moreover, I will send my younger brother to pick you up from the railway station.

Hope to see you soon.

Yours lovingly,
XYZ

dream2oz wrote:I hope you are well (doing good). It has been a while when (since) I wrote to you last time. I am writing you to invite on the occasion of my son’s first Birthday celebration. (missing connection to this sentence)

As you know,[<< comma ? "may know that" ]my wife and I had (have) been planning for our son’s first birthday celebration since long, and finally last week, we decided to organize it on a big scale. We were having long conversations till last week about budget, and we never wanted to compromise on any necessary thing for the function including food, return gifts, etc. As Since you are one of the closest friends I have, I am sending you the first invitation to you << repetition. Also, we have always celebrated each other’s cherish and big moments together so you have to be with me on this occasion as well. << restructure this sentence I will be more than happy if you come along with your whole family.

Furthermore, you need not to worry about the accommodation, which I have already arranged for all the guests coming from different cities. We have booked ten rooms in the hotel City Park which is 200 meters away from our house and one can cover the distance by walking. Moreover, Besides, I will send my younger brother to pick you up from the railway station.

Hope to see you soon.

Yours lovingly,
XYZ

Hi dream2oz, where is the question?
By the way, thanks for the invitation! lol

Many punctuation errors.
Sentence restructuring required in some places

Hi Delvy,

Thank you for your feedback.

You're most welcome buddy!!