Tasks 1 and 2 Academic - Could you assess my writing please?
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 4:06 pm
Hey everyone!
Since my test is coming soon, I am preparing Tasks 1 and 2 together, now.
Could you please let me know which band level I could approximately get with such a writing?
Indeed, I am aiming at a 8. Do you think it is doable with that kind of work?
I transcripted everything from paper without correcting my vocabulary mistakes, since I don't want to fool anybody nor myself.
Thank you in advance!
Task 1
The pie chart and the table describe the causes and the consequences of land degradation all over the world, and more precisely in three regions, during the nineties. We can clearly see that the main reasons for land degradation are few but influential.
First, the pie chart shows the causes of worldwide land degradation without giving details about the time period, however. The wide majority of environmental harm is caused by three factors: 35% by over-grazing, while deforestation represents 30% and over-cultivation makes 28%. Thus, these three human activities have a roughly equal influence on the environment.
Second, the table provides us with details about the percentage of land degraded during the 1990s by the main causes described above, in North America, Europe and Oceania. While Europe is by far the most impacted region with 23% of total land degraded, Oceania and Northern America got better results, with 13% and 5% respectively.
In conclusion, both these statistical documents teach us that human activity is the main cause for the damaging of healthy land.
173 words
Task 2
Educating children has always been a very sensitive issue, which becomes even harder to handle when it comes to moral education. While many responsibilities are put on the shoulders of official institutions like schools, do parents still have a strong role to play?
It is commonly said that school is the place to learn life, a sort of miniaturised society in which children can grow up together. Thus, it is not surprising that they have a two-fold mission: to provide pupils with raw theoretical knowledge on the one hand, and to teach them how to live in harmony on the other. Moreover, it is sometimes argued that being a good member of society is relative to the aforementioned society and its values. Hence the need for a standardised education that school can provide, as opposed to families. Despite this apparent homogeneity provided by institutions, do they really teach all the necessary knowledge to their students?
There is in fact a drawback to the official education: it does not teach all the essential values to children, but parents can. Morally, some lessons have to be taught by parents themselves, since children often take their elders as an example. Values such as respect, tolerance and open-mindedness can be learnt at school, but they will always need further rootening in the family environment. The latter becomes more important in backgrounds in which children cannot access schools automatically. We can take the examples of isolated or poor areas. In that case, parents are among the only models for a child’s identity and moral construction.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that mainly parents should teach children how to act as proper members of society, since they represent both an example and a point of reference for the youngest ones.
294 words
Since my test is coming soon, I am preparing Tasks 1 and 2 together, now.
Could you please let me know which band level I could approximately get with such a writing?
Indeed, I am aiming at a 8. Do you think it is doable with that kind of work?
I transcripted everything from paper without correcting my vocabulary mistakes, since I don't want to fool anybody nor myself.
Thank you in advance!
Task 1
The pie chart and the table describe the causes and the consequences of land degradation all over the world, and more precisely in three regions, during the nineties. We can clearly see that the main reasons for land degradation are few but influential.
First, the pie chart shows the causes of worldwide land degradation without giving details about the time period, however. The wide majority of environmental harm is caused by three factors: 35% by over-grazing, while deforestation represents 30% and over-cultivation makes 28%. Thus, these three human activities have a roughly equal influence on the environment.
Second, the table provides us with details about the percentage of land degraded during the 1990s by the main causes described above, in North America, Europe and Oceania. While Europe is by far the most impacted region with 23% of total land degraded, Oceania and Northern America got better results, with 13% and 5% respectively.
In conclusion, both these statistical documents teach us that human activity is the main cause for the damaging of healthy land.
173 words
Task 2
Educating children has always been a very sensitive issue, which becomes even harder to handle when it comes to moral education. While many responsibilities are put on the shoulders of official institutions like schools, do parents still have a strong role to play?
It is commonly said that school is the place to learn life, a sort of miniaturised society in which children can grow up together. Thus, it is not surprising that they have a two-fold mission: to provide pupils with raw theoretical knowledge on the one hand, and to teach them how to live in harmony on the other. Moreover, it is sometimes argued that being a good member of society is relative to the aforementioned society and its values. Hence the need for a standardised education that school can provide, as opposed to families. Despite this apparent homogeneity provided by institutions, do they really teach all the necessary knowledge to their students?
There is in fact a drawback to the official education: it does not teach all the essential values to children, but parents can. Morally, some lessons have to be taught by parents themselves, since children often take their elders as an example. Values such as respect, tolerance and open-mindedness can be learnt at school, but they will always need further rootening in the family environment. The latter becomes more important in backgrounds in which children cannot access schools automatically. We can take the examples of isolated or poor areas. In that case, parents are among the only models for a child’s identity and moral construction.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that mainly parents should teach children how to act as proper members of society, since they represent both an example and a point of reference for the youngest ones.
294 words