Please comment my writing.
Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 2:38 pm
The topic is : Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?
My writnig:
There are many countries on the world. Some of them are wealthy, some of them are poor. Many things can cause poverty such as wars, lack of education, and government's misapplications. The ostensible point is that some wealthy countries have poor neighbors. Is this problem border or irresponsibility?
In my opinion neighboring country should take care of the poor country partly. First of all if people are starving from hunger, rich country must provide food and basic needs as soon as possible after that when people are ready to start to work, rich country must share his knowledge to make them stand on their own feet. However being interested in for a long time exceeds its aim and becomes colonialism.
For example, natives of Australians were lack of knowledge and living simple tribe life but the English discovered them and shared knowledge and culture that they own by force. After a while, natives found themselves at war on halfway round the world crushing with other nations that they even have not known their name. They exchanged their independence instead of knowledge.
As long as when you do not gain your own knowledge and build your future, you cannot get your independent.
Thank you for review
My writnig:
There are many countries on the world. Some of them are wealthy, some of them are poor. Many things can cause poverty such as wars, lack of education, and government's misapplications. The ostensible point is that some wealthy countries have poor neighbors. Is this problem border or irresponsibility?
In my opinion neighboring country should take care of the poor country partly. First of all if people are starving from hunger, rich country must provide food and basic needs as soon as possible after that when people are ready to start to work, rich country must share his knowledge to make them stand on their own feet. However being interested in for a long time exceeds its aim and becomes colonialism.
For example, natives of Australians were lack of knowledge and living simple tribe life but the English discovered them and shared knowledge and culture that they own by force. After a while, natives found themselves at war on halfway round the world crushing with other nations that they even have not known their name. They exchanged their independence instead of knowledge.
As long as when you do not gain your own knowledge and build your future, you cannot get your independent.
Thank you for review