Here is my latest writing test and probably the last one, since I am sitting my IELTS exam in two days.
I tried to follow all your former advices regarding the structure and coherence between paragraphs.
Could you please give me comments and let me know if it is acceptable, coherent and correct?
Thank you in advance
Task 1
These pie charts describe the trends in annual spending of a British school from 1981 to 2001, and their details.
Firstly, it is clear that teacher’s salaries represented the first investment during the entire period for this school. It made 40 per cent of the whole budget in 1981, a half in 1991 and 45 per cent in 2001. Likewise, other worker’s salaries were the second major investment in 1981 and 1991 with 28 per cent and over a fifth respectively, at the exception of 2001, when it dropped to roughly a sixth of the overall spending.
Secondly, internal trends varied among each component. Other workers’ salaries went down from 28 per cent in 1991 to 15 per cent in 2001, while insurance fees were multiplied fourfold from 2 per cent in 2991 to almost a tenth in 2001. Furthermore, there were fluctuations for many components as Furniture and equipment, which passed from 15 per cent in 1981 to only a twentieth in 1991, and over a fifth in 2001. Oppositely, the instability of Resources budget followed a negative path, since it went from almost one sixth in 1981 to a fifth in 1991, and less than ten per cent in 2001.
Overall, the spending of this school changed greatly, at the exception of teachers’ salaries, which remained the first investment during the entire period.
225 words
Task 2
Technologies such as internet or the telephone have played a tremendous part in the digital revolution we are living, and our subsequent changes of behaviour. Communication is particularly concerned by the emergence of new trends. It is agreed that new technologies represent a positive development for human interaction. Analysing the ability of these new communication means to connect people easily and their power to reinforce relationships will prove this.
It is firstly known that technology helps people to get connected in nearly any situation. Devices such as mobile phones can nowadays connect everywhere, at any time, and provide their users with almost instant discussion possibilities. It is consequently possible for families to communicate from one part of the world to another. Furthermore, technology makes it possible for everybody to socialise with anyone, and thus to bring much more variety to one’s private circles.
Secondly, technology is an efficient way to preserve relationships, in spite of geographical or chronological distances. For example, people living in different areas and regions or working on different shifts would not be granted the opportunity to communicate directly without softwares such as Skype, or cellular phones. Although it is sometimes said that it has made human interactions vain, technology might rather reveal a relation’s vacuity by permitting to communicate at every moment. Thus it is possible to differentiate between deep, trusting and regular exchanges on the one hand, and shallow interactions on the other. For that reason, technology reinforces relationships between people.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that digital communication and new technologies’ power to connect in every situation and to preserve relationships, make them a very positive development for the types of relationships people make.
280 words