Please criticize my essay and give me some advice. Thx!

[Yolanda_L]

There are more problems with students' behavior in many countries. What are the causes and what are your solutions?


Nowadays,many students' behavior is not as good as their parents did before. In China, perhaps the one-child policy contributes to this phenomenon.

Because now the kids are always the only child in their family, they tend to grow up under the overprotection of their parents or even grandparents. Under this circumstance, these children are easier to be selfish and immature. So they may fight with other kids or break the school rules. On the other hand, now the study pressure for children is pretty high, they always cannot have time to enjoy fun games with their peers. This may also affect children's personality.

In my opinion, the education of how to behave for kids should start from kindergarten. Teachers and parents play an important role in showing them what is right and what is wrong. Of course, the means of criticism is also very significant. If kids behave badly, parents should punish them in a more educational way rather than a violent way. Furthermore, parents should give kids more time to spend with other children. This helps them to improve their social skills and even team-building skills. With better understanding of each other, children may not do something outrageous.

In conclusion, parents are the best teathers and models for their children. What the kids will be like mostly depends on their parents' behavior. Also, parents should give children more spare time to do what they really want to do. Education is important, but too much pressure can do harm to the students.

[saqibali]

I refer you to basic video lectures of ryan.Please take my advice positively

[Yolanda_L]

I refer you to basic video lectures of ryan.Please take my advice positively

Thank you. Can you point out the problems with my writing?