Practice Writing Task 2 (please check)
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 4:14 am
please assess my essay, and give feedbacks 
In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Nowadays, in some countries, students are preoccupied to do very well in their studies and consequently looses the opportunity to enjoy themselves. This situation can be rooted from various reasons and for sure there are reasonable solutions to address this concern, as will now be discussed.
One reason why young people ought to have limited leisure time and obsessed with academic studies is because of the popular notion that the world is now rather complicated. People needs to have a competitive scholastic background to increase the probability of getting a job, and so, young people tend to study hard for their future. For an instance, an employer would prefer a student who graduated with honors than a student who have suffering marks.
Another reason is that some students are able to attend school because of scholarships. The need to maintain good grades is often a requirement to stay in the program. This adds pressure to young adults. In connection to this, finding time to have leisure is a challenge.
A way to solve this is by inculcating to young people the importance of holistic nourishment. Not only knowledge is vital, but also skills and attitude are as essential to thrive. Finding time to have play is very beneficial as it develops healthy mind to have a positive outlook in life. The addition of interesting activities in school is also a bright idea where students get to unwind while actually learning practical skills.
Furthermore, government programs should focus on developing the education system in the country for example, here in the Philippines. The provision of assistance for students to attend school up to college without the demand to maintain superior grade is reasonable to implement. The government should realize that an overall healthy population not just merely an intelligent group of people is needed to build a strong nation.
In conclusion, young adults today tends to be very intellectually superior and ought not to do other things but study. Leading them the way is a key for them to change this perception. Moreover, the government should design programs for the betterment of the young citizens.
In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Nowadays, in some countries, students are preoccupied to do very well in their studies and consequently looses the opportunity to enjoy themselves. This situation can be rooted from various reasons and for sure there are reasonable solutions to address this concern, as will now be discussed.
One reason why young people ought to have limited leisure time and obsessed with academic studies is because of the popular notion that the world is now rather complicated. People needs to have a competitive scholastic background to increase the probability of getting a job, and so, young people tend to study hard for their future. For an instance, an employer would prefer a student who graduated with honors than a student who have suffering marks.
Another reason is that some students are able to attend school because of scholarships. The need to maintain good grades is often a requirement to stay in the program. This adds pressure to young adults. In connection to this, finding time to have leisure is a challenge.
A way to solve this is by inculcating to young people the importance of holistic nourishment. Not only knowledge is vital, but also skills and attitude are as essential to thrive. Finding time to have play is very beneficial as it develops healthy mind to have a positive outlook in life. The addition of interesting activities in school is also a bright idea where students get to unwind while actually learning practical skills.
Furthermore, government programs should focus on developing the education system in the country for example, here in the Philippines. The provision of assistance for students to attend school up to college without the demand to maintain superior grade is reasonable to implement. The government should realize that an overall healthy population not just merely an intelligent group of people is needed to build a strong nation.
In conclusion, young adults today tends to be very intellectually superior and ought not to do other things but study. Leading them the way is a key for them to change this perception. Moreover, the government should design programs for the betterment of the young citizens.