Hi! I'm sitting my Ielts on September 6 and I could really use a feedback on my writings. I copy pasted the writings here and I hope I hear any opinions soon.
Task 1
The line graph compares the amount of population inhabited in counties of Columbia, Yamhill and Washington, at a 60 years interval, between 1940 and 2000, determined in thousands.
With a parallel evolution, Columbia’s and Yamhill’s population hit an almost identical population number in the 1940’s, with a meagre difference of almost ten thousand people. On the other hand, Washington’s population reached 75 thousand citizens in the same year, with a compelling raise of 48 thousand in the next 30 years.
Growth made a linear trend in the evolution of all three counties, with Washington as a raising champion, hardly followed by the modest increases of Yamhill, with 15 thousand and Columbia with only 13 thousand.
Further in the evolution until the 2000’s, Yamhill and Columbia recovered their initial parallel evolution and they both significantly grew with 40 thousand citizens, reaching values of 90 and respectively 75 thousand.
For Washington, the 70’s served as a turning point. Consequently, after this year, the road to the 2000’s emerged into a humongous raise of 120 thousand people, settling unquestionably as the state with the highest population rate among the three analyzed, to a difference of over 150 thousand compared to the second classified in the line graph.
Task 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society?
Give reasons for your answer.
Write at least 250 words.
Decades after the decline of communism, we find ourselves living in a liberalist society that reasonably promotes the idea of free speaking and liberty in seizing our very own decisions.
Liberalism came after times of hardness and the massive hindrance precipitated by the communist regimes that unfortunately occurred in particular countries worldwide. Contrary with the previous regime that barbarously sustained the domination of only one men, in spite of the numerous needs of the inhabitants, liberalism originated into the need of freeing the individual. Forasmuch as, beliefs such freedom of speech, act and choice were highly promoted.
In consideration of the most basic principles of this humanist politic regime, I, myself, believe that the freedom of speech is doubtlessly necessary in the slightly new created liberalist society.
Firstly, speaking freely is the main idea on which liberalism and the ‘free society’ concept is based. Commenced in the need of restoring the general creativity, liberalism figured exposing individual’s personal thoughts, ideas and preferences to be the very first step into healing a hindered society. Restricted to free talk and deeply drowned in censor, people were conveniently close to the ‘brain washed’ state that the communist regime was so aridly looking for. Consequently, in order to create the free society, liberalists must have had freed the people. Nevertheless, speaking your mind after decades of atrocities is never effortless. A deeply regrettable example, along many others, is Romania, my home country, which 20 years after the decline of communism is still impeded by the liberty restrictions promoted by the previous regime. Here, the possibility of finally speaking freely catalyzed in the first step of freeing Romanians. And if in many other fields we still have a long way to go, we lastly managed to express ourselves openly through speaking.
Secondly, uncensored speaking is the most basic right a human being disposes of, accustomed by birth. Ancillary, from a relatively religious point of view, speaking is a capacity given by God’s will, an indisputable feature that humans must benefit of. Liberalism advocates a society where everyone is free to exhibit their true selves as how they were born. To prove the inborn need of free speaking, there are endlessly numerous examples, perhaps just parallel with the number of individuals inhabited on Earth.
In conclusion, free speaking is doubtlessly the fundamental need into creating a free, original society of creative and self-thinking people.
Writing Task 1&2 Feedback
Re: Writing Task 1&2 Feedback
Decades after the decline of communism, we find ourselves living in a liberalist(LIBERATED) society that reasonably promotes the idea of free speaking and liberty in seizing our very own decisions.
Liberalism came after times of hardness and the massive hindrance precipitated by the communist regimes that unfortunately occurred in particular countries worldwide. Contrary with the previous regime that barbarously sustained the domination of only one men, in spite of the numerous needs of the inhabitants, liberalism originated into the need of freeing the individual. For as much as, beliefs such freedom of speech, act and choice were highly promoted.
In consideration of the most basic principles of this humanist politic regime, I, myself, believe that the freedom of speech is doubtlessly necessary in the slightly newly created liberalist society.
Firstly, speaking freely is the main idea on which liberalism and the ‘free society’ concept is based. Commenced in the need of restoring the general creativity, liberalism figured exposing individual’s personal thoughts, ideas and preferences to be the very first step into healing a hindered society<**it doesn't sound best in here>. Restricted to free talk and deeply drowned in censor, people were conveniently close to the ‘brain washed’ state that the communist regime was so aridly looking for. Consequently, in order to create the free society, liberalists must have had freed the people. Nevertheless, speaking your mind after decades of atrocities is never effortless. A deeply regrettable example, along many others, Romania, my home country, which 20 years after the decline of communism is still impeded by the liberty restrictions promoted by the previous regime. Here, the possibility of finally speaking freely catalyzed in the first step of freeing Romanians. And if in many other fields we still have a long way to go, we lastly managed to express ourselves openly through speaking.
Secondly, uncensored speaking is the most basic right a human being disposes of, accustomed by birth. Ancillary, from a relatively religious point of view, speaking is a capacity given by God’s will, an indisputable feature that humans must benefit of. Liberalism advocates a society where everyone is free to exhibit their true selves as how they were born. To prove the inborn need of free speaking, there are endlessly numerous examples, perhaps just parallel with the number of individuals inhabited on Earth.
In conclusion, free speaking is doubtlessly the fundamental need into creating a free, original society of creative and self-thinking people.
Nice work..some inaccuracies are there but that doesn't interfere with understanding. Try to write introduction in one paragraph instead of two.
Liberalism came after times of hardness and the massive hindrance precipitated by the communist regimes that unfortunately occurred in particular countries worldwide. Contrary with the previous regime that barbarously sustained the domination of only one men, in spite of the numerous needs of the inhabitants, liberalism originated into the need of freeing the individual. For as much as, beliefs such freedom of speech, act and choice were highly promoted.
In consideration of the most basic principles of this humanist politic regime, I, myself, believe that the freedom of speech is doubtlessly necessary in the slightly newly created liberalist society.
Firstly, speaking freely is the main idea on which liberalism and the ‘free society’ concept is based. Commenced in the need of restoring the general creativity, liberalism figured exposing individual’s personal thoughts, ideas and preferences to be the very first step into healing a hindered society<**it doesn't sound best in here>. Restricted to free talk and deeply drowned in censor, people were conveniently close to the ‘brain washed’ state that the communist regime was so aridly looking for. Consequently, in order to create the free society, liberalists must have had freed the people. Nevertheless, speaking your mind after decades of atrocities is never effortless. A deeply regrettable example, along many others, Romania, my home country, which 20 years after the decline of communism is still impeded by the liberty restrictions promoted by the previous regime. Here, the possibility of finally speaking freely catalyzed in the first step of freeing Romanians. And if in many other fields we still have a long way to go, we lastly managed to express ourselves openly through speaking.
Secondly, uncensored speaking is the most basic right a human being disposes of, accustomed by birth. Ancillary, from a relatively religious point of view, speaking is a capacity given by God’s will, an indisputable feature that humans must benefit of. Liberalism advocates a society where everyone is free to exhibit their true selves as how they were born. To prove the inborn need of free speaking, there are endlessly numerous examples, perhaps just parallel with the number of individuals inhabited on Earth.
In conclusion, free speaking is doubtlessly the fundamental need into creating a free, original society of creative and self-thinking people.
Nice work..some inaccuracies are there but that doesn't interfere with understanding. Try to write introduction in one paragraph instead of two.