IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attempt 5

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charles205
Posts: 45
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 3:18 pm

IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attempt 5

Post by charles205 »

Some people believe that advertising is useful and informative. Others believe it is useless and only increasing the cost of goods. Discuss both views and give your opinion.


More than ever, advertising have become and unavoidable aspect of human life. However, the argument that advertising is beneficial for the consumers is both supported and refuted by many. Both sides of this argument will be analyzed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.

On the one hand, commercials play a central role in delivering the message of the producer towards the end customers. For example, the latest, advanced and reliable safety features installed in the latest BMW car can be easily conveyed to its potential buyers through TV commercials, hoardings or webcasts. Since many people do not have time to carry out their own researches on competitive cars in the market, effective advertising can be used by product makers in a mutually beneficial manner. This clearly shows that why the argument that advertising has a positive outcome has garnered support.

On the other hand, when the expenditure on advertisements is realized, it will be added to the selling price of the goods, and as a result of this, products being promoted extensively are happened to be sold at relatively higher prices. This is the key reason that why many people pinpoint the negatives of product promotions. Thus it is evident that commercialization have brought negative effects with it.

In summary, both sides of the argument have strong points. After evaluating both camps, it is felt the positive ramifications of this overweigh the negatives. Therefore, in my opinion various marketing techniques of products will continue to be used in the future as well.
charles205
Posts: 45
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 3:18 pm

Re: IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attemp

Post by charles205 »

Hi all,
Please give your valuable comments for improvements.
Pls evaluate the band it worth of !
Thanks.
charles205
Posts: 45
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 3:18 pm

Re: IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attemp

Post by charles205 »

Anyone, pls comment on my essay 5
charles205
Posts: 45
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 3:18 pm

Re: IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attemp

Post by charles205 »

:oops: :oops: :oops: still no one
pls comment !
saqibali
Posts: 452
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:56 am

Re: IELTS GT Writing Task 2 - Pls Comment on my essay attemp

Post by saqibali »

charles205 wrote:Some people believe that advertising is useful and informative. Others believe it is useless and only increasing the cost of goods. Discuss both views and give your opinion.


More than ever, advertising have[has] become and unavoidable aspect of human life. However, the argument that advertising is beneficial for the consumers is both supported and refuted by many. Both sides of this argument will be analyzed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.

On the one hand, commercials play a central role in delivering the message of the producer towards[to] the end customers. For example, the latest, advanced and reliable safety features installed in the latest BMW car can be easily conveyed to its potential buyers through TV commercials, hoardings or webcasts. Since many people do not have time to carry out their own researches[research] on competitive cars in the market, effective advertising can be used by product makers in a mutually beneficial manner[last four words are un necessary]. This clearly shows that why the argument that advertising has a positive outcome has garnered support.

On the other hand, when the expenditure on advertisements is realized, it will be added to the selling price of the goods, and as a result of this, products being promoted extensively are happened to be sold at relatively higher prices[This sentence need revision.Break it into parts.... On the other hand, advertisement cost is added to sale price of items.This, ultimately, add a lot of unnecessary burden on consumers]. This is the key reason that why many people pinpoint the negatives of product promotions[This is the main key negative feature being highlighted by many people]. Thus it is evident that commercialization have brought negative effects with it.

In summary, both sides of the argument have strong points. After evaluating both camps, it is felt the positive ramifications of this over-weigh the negatives. Therefore, in my opinion[,] various marketing techniques of products [should be employed for future as well]will continue to be used in the future as well.
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