Children Compete( Please check my work)

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Aditi
Posts: 58
Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2014 12:46 am

Children Compete( Please check my work)

Post by Aditi »

Dear friends, please review my work and point out my errors, and alos please suggest me where i can improve.
Thanking you in advance for your time and effort. :?:

Some people say children should compete with each other in and outside schools to have a brighter future. Some other people say it is dangerous are against it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Competitions have had always been an essential part of human lifestyle, and believed to be continued till the forthcoming generations. Many people argue that children should compete within and outside schools territories. Others, however, disagree. They believe that this trend poses threats to kids overall developments. This essay will analyse both side of views before reaching any concrete conclusion.

On the one hand, children who take part in competitions motivate themselves through intellectual growth, and increases their capabilities and confidence levels. That is to say, kids who participate in contest fortify their determination to win the title. As a result, these youth becomes a huge asset to their country in the future, because the winning nature of these kids always precursor to accomplish the project given at their workplace. Thus, this example clearly states that children who compete with others always focus to make their future bright.

On the other hand, these kids can sometime create ego and commit delinquency to achieve success. The passion and ambition of winning the contest sometime mislead the youngster, and some even commit suicide. For example, in some Asian countries, particularly Nepal and India, many students commit suicide just because of their failure in some tests or competitions, and this has created problems among parents and governments too. This is therefore proven that competitions poses negative ramification to the youngsters.

To conclude, after analysing both side of views it seems that competitions encourages children to be more determined and focused on their career, while some losers take it as the end of the world. It is therefore recommended that schools educate pupils to be more productive and innovative rather than just focusing to win the contest to prove them superior.
saqibali
Posts: 452
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:56 am

Re: Children Compete( Please check my work)

Post by saqibali »

If you kindly send me this in word file, I will edit it properly with excellent formatting.I will do this in my earliest free time.
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