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please cast a look and give me some feedback.thank you!

Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 3:26 pm
by moony_223
topic: many businesses now ban smoking from all offices and governments prohibit it in all public places. This is a good idea but it has restricted our freedom.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

my essay:

Smoking ban in almost all work places and public areas has made hotly debated issue of late. While many people approve of this legislation, some take issue with it for fear of their freedom being restricted. Nevertheless, from my personal stand point, I am convinced that banning smoking has its pros and cons for the reasons illustrated below.

On the one hand, it is irrefutable that cigar prohibition protects human’s health. To demonstrate, when having fewer chances of smoking, people, both smokers and non smokers, can avoid critical diseases, particularly lung cancer and ingesting blockage. Additionally, it may also prevent working environment from being spoilt, especially beneficial for non smokers, who find it impossible to concentrate sitting in smokes. A further point worth mentioning is by this ban we can reduce dramatically the rate of frequent absentees, when workers have to go out puffing a cigarette and therefore decrease work outcomes’ quality. On the whole, should prohibition against smoking in place, it will benefit not only smokers, non smokers’ health but also their working productivity.

On the other hand, there still are some drawbacks luking in this new set of law. In smokers’ viewpoint, it is human’s right to decide to smoke wherever they want. Furthermore, if heavy smokers are kept from smoking for too long, chances are that it will render them unable to get down to work, not to mention being irritable and awkward to their colleagues. Last but not least, prohibiting people from smoking in offices, where they are for most of their waking time, threatens a dramatic drop in tobacco industry ‘ sales, which is contributing a large amount of money to taxations.

Nonetheless, cigarette ban, in my view, is too strict and not utterly satisfactory in some cases. This is because there are many people who work alone in an office, which, in turn, means they will not harm others even if they smoke all days. Besides, it is common knowledge that many creators, namely scientists, artists, writers ,etc can only be at their best when smoking. In other words, applying the ban to these people will put us in a loss of magnificent works. The facts mentioned above convince me that smoking banning should not be enforced in all workshops and public areas but some of those, while smoking areas should be provided aplenty by authorities.

In light of the above-mentioned arguments, I am of the opinion that it will be more plausible if we ban smoking in some particular offices and public places, parallel with laying on isolated smoking rooms for smokers in office buildings. Given that the ban has far-reaching impacts on protecting human’s health and working environment, it is too strict in terms of smokers’ freedom of choice and tobacco industry ‘s takings.

Re: please cast a look and give me some feedback.thank you!

Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 10:38 am
by saqibali
Send me your skype address in inbox.I will rewrite this from start.Watching my thought process would help you write qualitatively.