would somebody please be kind to check my writing? Thank you
Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:11 pm
It's Task 1
The bar chart shows the trend of student enrolments at the university of Westchester according to the gender, age and origin in a period of every 25 years from 1875 to 2024.
In generally, the number of different kinds of students has been increasing largely over 150 years. Especially the female students, despite it was not until 1900 that the university of Westchester started to accept them, the number went up steadily and constantly to 13,000 in 1999. In contrast, during 1875 to 1899, only 1,000 male students were enrolled in the university, with its number doubling every 25 years in the following century, there were approximately 15,000 male students in the end of 1999, however, this first place will be taken over by female students in the 21st century, with comparison of 14,000 male and 15,000 female in the end of 2024. What’s more, students aged 25 or more were recruited at the same time as female students with the equal number, and the number has been gradually climbing to 10,000 till 2024. Whereas, international students were not accepted until the mid of 20th century, the number will quadruple from 3,000 to 12,000 in around 50 years.(197 words)
Sorry, I can't attach the pic.....
My question is: What kind score I can get from this writing? How to improve it? Thank you~
The bar chart shows the trend of student enrolments at the university of Westchester according to the gender, age and origin in a period of every 25 years from 1875 to 2024.
In generally, the number of different kinds of students has been increasing largely over 150 years. Especially the female students, despite it was not until 1900 that the university of Westchester started to accept them, the number went up steadily and constantly to 13,000 in 1999. In contrast, during 1875 to 1899, only 1,000 male students were enrolled in the university, with its number doubling every 25 years in the following century, there were approximately 15,000 male students in the end of 1999, however, this first place will be taken over by female students in the 21st century, with comparison of 14,000 male and 15,000 female in the end of 2024. What’s more, students aged 25 or more were recruited at the same time as female students with the equal number, and the number has been gradually climbing to 10,000 till 2024. Whereas, international students were not accepted until the mid of 20th century, the number will quadruple from 3,000 to 12,000 in around 50 years.(197 words)
Sorry, I can't attach the pic.....
My question is: What kind score I can get from this writing? How to improve it? Thank you~