pls grade the essay - ads on TV are useless -discussion

[rairaichan0323]

Some people think the advertisement on TV are useless while others think they are valuable. Discuss both views and giver your opinion.


In a modern city, adverts are an indispensable of each individual life. People are easy to receive any new information through ads. While some would argue that advertisements are futile, many others would contend that they are priceless. These points of view will be discussed in this order before arriving at a satisfactory outcome.

On the one hand, some people are of the opinion that commercials on the media are pointless. They only pursue human to purchase something which is possibly wasteness. For instance, Apple stores will promote new iPhone model in the broadcast in every year. It can be argued that individual is unnecessary to alter other fashionable mobiles even the original phone is still functional. Thus, it is clear why some people gravitate towards this point of view.

On the other hand, many argue that advertising is precious as they are able to provide some important messages to the humankind. To illustrate, Hong Kong government frequently announces and promote some new policies on the television in order to draw local dwellers attention. Therefore, the domestic residents are able to receive such a valuable information. After analyzing these facts, it is clear why many support this claim.

By way of conclusion, there are strong arguments both sides. However, after analyzing these points of view, it is certainly true that advertisements are not pointless for the majority of citizens. Also, I believe that it seems highly advisable for the administration to give more informative messages to the public by advertising.

[holymanbinny]

Nicely written , easily would get band 7 good coherence and orginasation of ideas , also view was clear , can do little better in paragraph though.

cheers!!!!