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Evaluating & Scoring My Writing Task 2

Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 5:26 pm
by afnanmoh1
Hello,
here is the question, and I need you please to score me out of 9, and if there's any mistake, please point it out:

Learning to manage money is one of the key aspects of adult life. How in your view can individuals best learn to manage their money?

My Answer:

Trying to manage money and financial expenses are one of the most difficult personal management an independent individual can have. Individuals try to manage their money in different ways, some of them work and some are not. In this essay, two given possible solutions for this issue will be addressed.

One way to control the financial income is by saving some of it and invest it. Individuals can, for example, open a saving account in the bank in which they can specify the percentage of the money transfer from the main account to the saving one on monthly basis, and they can buy shares. This way they will try to adapt themselves on the remaining salary they have and can spend it as they like without worrying about being broken in the end of each month. There is one take on this way which is that there might be some occasions where someone needs to spend the whole salary or more in a month, and it will be difficult to do so if the whole saved money are in the shares.

Another way for managing money is by eliminating the purchasing as much as possible. Adults need to look after their real needs and the luxurious things. For example, instead of shopping every time, they can make a list of all their needs and buy them at once every month. By shopping less, they will tend to avoid the struggle between buying or not buying that will most likely end up buying unnecessary things.

To conclude, controlling money and budget is not an easy task, yet it's very crucial to everyone's life. The future secure life is determined by the current well-planned expenditure.

Re: Evaluating & Scoring My Writing Task 2

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 7:12 pm
by afnanmoh1
nobody can help? : (