Please check my Task 2 general module writing.

[Mohamed Elamin]

Hello every one,
I hope someone can help me check my following writing:

Question: Although many countries are becoming richer, these societies still have members who are poor and struggle each day to survive.
Why do you think this happens and what can wealthy societies do to help their poorer citizens?

Answer:
Recently, many countries have become richer than they were ever been before. This is because the sources of their economy have diversified. It is argued that these countries still have poor members who struggle every day to survive. This happens due to both population and government reasons, which will be explained in this order.

Firstly, the population of a country plays a significant role on its individual’s economical satisfaction. This can be seen in the USA, for example, where even though it has a very rich economy it still has poor members who fight for their survival every day. This is because the great economy of the USA is incapable of satisfying all its population. Thus, it is clear why many rich countries still have poor members.

Moreover, corrupt governments in rich countries have a predominant role on the poverty of their people. This is very apparent in Sudan where even though it has large oil reserves, most of its people are still very poor. This is because government members often loot a lot of money from the country’s wealth and eventually leave nothing for their people. After analyzing this fact, it is clear why there is still poverty in many wealthy countries.

Following the analyzing of how high population and corrupt government may affect a country’s individual economical stability, it is clear why many rich countries still have members who suffer great poverty conditions. Further, it is recommended for presidents to hold corrupt government members into account as well as to establish healthy schemes to finance their people.

[Mohamed Elamin]

Would you people give your comments?

[charles205]

I feel you need to mention what richer society should do to help poor citizens.

[Mohamed Elamin]

I feel you need to mention what richer society should do to help poor citizens.

ooh yes you are right. I meant by the last part ' the recommendation part' to cover it. but i guess it is not precise. lolz.
how about rephrase it and write" it is recommended, especially in rich countries' that presidents ... "
?