Essay- I need someone to correct it.
Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 8:46 am
Can someone please correct my essay. I need a band of 8, so can someone review what i have written and advice me how i could improve this essay..
Being teenages can be the most happiest time in a persons life. However, it comes with certain restrictions. Parents and the public often apply pressure on teenages restricting them performing certain activities. These might include alcohol consumption or entering night clubs. On the other hand an adult will gain immense freedom to engage in any activity they prefer to. As a personal opinion the author states that being a teenager is the most happiest time in a persons life.
Adults, are very independent and allowed to engage in any legal activity as described in the countries law. This independence however, comes with a cost. Adults are expected to earn a living, where they’ll often require to obtain certain loans from banks or other institutions. Statistics prove that 40% of American adults have obtained a loan to pay for house and vehicle. As grownups, it’s their responsibility to settle these debts on time. On the other hand teenages are often taken cared by their parents. They are being fed, educated and provided all the necessary requirements at no cost. When compared adults with teenagers, it can be deduced that a teenager can enjoy a stress free life.
Further, when a teenager commits a crime, they are often advised and educated by the police officers, thus, on the other hand, when adult commits a crime they are penalized, and punished based on the offence they have carried out. Since the teenagers are been taken care by their parents, they are always corrected when they are wronged thus, they’ll be given a chance to correct themselves. However, the adults live independently, once a crime is committed they’ll receive the maximum punishment permitted by law. Consequently, it can be deduced that a teenager are privileged when it comes to doing wrong.
In conclusion, there are pros and cons being a teenager and being an adult. However, scrutinizing the above facts the author concludes that being a teenager has more advantages and benefits than being an adult.
Topic: Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life bring more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Being teenages can be the most happiest time in a persons life. However, it comes with certain restrictions. Parents and the public often apply pressure on teenages restricting them performing certain activities. These might include alcohol consumption or entering night clubs. On the other hand an adult will gain immense freedom to engage in any activity they prefer to. As a personal opinion the author states that being a teenager is the most happiest time in a persons life.
Adults, are very independent and allowed to engage in any legal activity as described in the countries law. This independence however, comes with a cost. Adults are expected to earn a living, where they’ll often require to obtain certain loans from banks or other institutions. Statistics prove that 40% of American adults have obtained a loan to pay for house and vehicle. As grownups, it’s their responsibility to settle these debts on time. On the other hand teenages are often taken cared by their parents. They are being fed, educated and provided all the necessary requirements at no cost. When compared adults with teenagers, it can be deduced that a teenager can enjoy a stress free life.
Further, when a teenager commits a crime, they are often advised and educated by the police officers, thus, on the other hand, when adult commits a crime they are penalized, and punished based on the offence they have carried out. Since the teenagers are been taken care by their parents, they are always corrected when they are wronged thus, they’ll be given a chance to correct themselves. However, the adults live independently, once a crime is committed they’ll receive the maximum punishment permitted by law. Consequently, it can be deduced that a teenager are privileged when it comes to doing wrong.
In conclusion, there are pros and cons being a teenager and being an adult. However, scrutinizing the above facts the author concludes that being a teenager has more advantages and benefits than being an adult.